Evil Twin of William Jennings Bryan

The Beckham Incident

2009-07-24T09:22:00.000-07:00

I know its a topic that has been widely covered in the press, but as a fan who was at the game who needs to completely vent himself of his feelings on the issue and the sole editor/contributor to this blog, I am going to tackle the already well-documented incident from my point of view.

First of all, here are a series of articles that discuss various parts of "the incident" that I thought were particularly interesting.

AP Story (on CNNSI) that is one of the first to include Beckham's post-game comments.
Reuters: Boo Him Like Beckham, the American Dream is Over
Paul Oberjuerge: SB Sun writer has a take I agree with
Michael Ventre: doesn't seem to get it
Josh Peters: knew where to find "the jumper" - in a bar
New York Times: a good short history of past criticism of Beckham
LA Times: featuring yours truly
John Ireland gets it

On to the reading. Let me start by getting a few things out of the way. First, I am writing this as someone who sits with the Riot Squad. Despite what journalists have written, there is no such thing as a "member" of the Riot Squad. People sit with the Riot Squad or they don't. Having said that, I clearly do not speak for the Riot Squad or anyone in the Riot Squad even when I use the terms "we" and "us" and "our". In fact, despite the image that has been promoted in the press, the Riot Squad has become somewhat boring to me in the last year and I will likely be sitting with a different group frequently during the remainder of the season.

So how did we get here? Well. as you know, way back in 2007 the Galaxy signed GoldenBalls for what was then being called a 5-year/$250 million deal (most of the dough coming from endorsements). I said from day one that I would be happy to have him as long as he contributed more than a circus. Besides the motivation of the almighty dollar, back in 2007 Beckham was not seeing eye-to-eye with the manager at his current club, Real Madrid, and was out of the pool more-or-less in the eyes of then England coach Steve McClaren. So why not take the money, come to Hollywood with your starlet wife, and "save American soccer"? Despite the circus, it seemed like a good deal for all.

It went bad almost from the start. Based on the news stories and excerpts that I read about Grant Wahl's book The Beckham Experiment, it was clear from the start that Beckham and his handlers, 19 Entertainment, wanted more control over team operations than is standard in any sport. Wahl wrote about one conversation over dinner between Beckham, Landon Donovan and then coach Frank Yallop in which Donovan said "On successive days [Donovan] had met with Yallop and Galaxy president and general manager Alexi Lalas, and each had told him that "people above me" -- meaning Tim Leiweke, CEO of AEG, which owned the Galaxy -- thought Beckham should be the team captain." I want to make sure you get that. The management of the team was promoting the idea that Beckham should become captain from day one - no earning it, no player vote, not even the coach's decision outright. It gets worse. Wahl went on to say that "after a lunch at Beckham's house, the host stayed inside as Byrne [Beckham's best friend, manager and employee of 19 Entertainment] walked Lalas and Yallop onto the porch. 'What are you doing about the captaincy?' asked Byrne, who felt that Beckham should wear the armband as soon as he joined the team." According to this account, the plan to make Beckham captain came from his own people, not Galaxy management. It also became clear that they had their eyes on picking their own coach. Byrne was given a paid position with the Galaxy and their choice for coach, Ruud Gullit, was hired. Who made the announcement? You would guess general manager Alexi Lalas. Nope. Beckham's man Byrne, without himself being introduced to the team, told the players that this was their new coach.

To say that Ruud Gullit was a failure as a coach is like saying saying Barry Bonds was a failure at natural muscle development - a bit of an understatement. The Galaxy had a record of 6-8-5 under Gullit while allowing a league-worst forty goals in those nineteen games. In Wahl's book, he tells the story of Peter Vagenas going to Gullit with a complaint that all they did in training was 11v11 scrimmaging, no training on things like set pieces. Wahl points out that this was the point where Pete began to ride the bench. Come August, Gullit "resigned" and Lalas was fired along with Beckham's buddy Byrne. It was also at this point that Beckham seemed to stop giving his all to the team.

Let's skip to this year. The Galaxy had made the playoffs in the first ten years of their existence, but have failed to do so in the last three. Meanwhile, as I mentioned previously, Beckham is back in the mix for England's squad going to World Cup 2010 and it has been made clear to him by England Coach Fabio Cappello that he expected Beckham to be "playing in a far better standard of football than in Major League Soccer" and he was off too AC Milan on a loan deal to play for them during the Galaxy's off-season.

Here's where I began to lose him. Shortly after joining the Rossoneri Beckham made it clear that he wanted to stay. I made it clear that I was OK with that. The Galaxy made a deal for Beckham to stay in Milan on loan until the end of their season. That, of course, went about halfway into the Galaxy's season. This is why the Riot Squad went after Beckham on Sunday. It had very little, if anything at all, to do with the quality of play that he brought to the team.

So what happened Sunday night? I'm assuming you've heard several versions of this, but I am giving you my view of what happened. From the moment Beckham stepped onto the pitch for warm-ups, the Riot Squad made t clear what they felt about him. The most common criticism came in the form of the song "Who the fuck is David Beckham?" to the tune of the Battle Hymn of the Republic. I joined a little at first, but I have no interest in chanting against anyone wearing the Galaxy colors. Some people in the front of the section were "giving him the business" especially hard. Its these people, two in particular, that drew Beckham's attention just before halftime. When Ronaldinho (who will be playing for the Galaxy in the next two years) went to retrieve the ball Beckham smiled and rolled it to him, possibly making a comment. Now, I thought nothing of it, but clearly these two did and made comments about playing the game and not being friendly to the opposition - especially since Beckham had just finished a stint with this same team and had made it clear that he wanted to go back. After Ronaldinho took the corner and halftime was called, Beckham approached the stands pointing at these two and yelled something. Nobody that was further from Beckham by more than 20 feet could hear what he actually said. In any case, words were exchanged and Josh jumped onto the dirt at field level and went to confront Beckham. He was, of course, tackled by security and pinned down while Beckham left the field.

At this point we have different stories. Beckham claims that he was simply trying to shake hands. As I stated in my e-mail to the LA Times, that is nothing short of a complete lie. He clearly came with angry intentions. If you watch the video you will not see a handshake offered until Josh was already pinned to the ground.

Here's what I think happened. Becks wanted the Riot Squad to shut up and thought that if he challenged someone to "man up" and that person did not then he could call us cowards (more like pussies I assume) and he would win the battle. I'm sure he was stunned to see someone accept his invitation and thought of the handshake as a way to show that he was innocent. As you can also see in this video, his language was far from innocent and his intention was never a handshake.

The fallout is this: The fan, Josh, was banned for life from the Home Depot Center. However, since I started this long post, the ban has been lifted at the request of the Galaxy. Beckham refused to apologize for his actions and went as far to say that its the "other people that have to change" and not him. He also said that his concern was about his sons hearing that type of thing. from the luxury box next to Tom Cruise his kids would only have heard the boos, which they have to be used to by now. MLS fined Beckham $1,000, which I think would be like fining me about a buck and a quarter. Kind of bullshit, but the symbolism is more important than the amount. Also, Beckham has another confrontation with a fan in Kansas City after which he called that fan and the Riot Squad a "disgrace".

In the end, I imagine most fans around the US and certainly a large number around the world really see Beckham as the disgrace. A professional athlete needs to expect that he will be boo'd and heckled at some point in their career. Beckham has seen himself hung in effigy, has had people wish cancer on his sons, and even had a bullet sent to him with his son's name engraved. Maybe he expected it from English fans who are used to seeing the world's best players and don't consider him special, but thought that his magic Goldenballs would make us forgive him instantly. Although the teenage girls and soccer moms would gladly offer their first born to get him to sign their brand-new jersey, the real fans know better.

For my part, I am done wasting my breath on this guy. I wanted to vent, and I've done it. It is my policy to not cheer against someone wearing my team's colors. I feel that although David Beckham brings a lot of talent to the Galaxy, he does not care about the success of this team. He will likely be gone by the end of the season. If he helps us win the cup you will not find a happier fan than I (outside of the money that I will need to spend on adding a new tattoo for this title). Wherever he goes, however, I hope he and that team fail miserably.

After a long hiatus

2009-07-18T14:34:00.000-07:00

I have a few things to say that have been building up in my brain over the last 3 months without a post.

First, I blame Facebook for taking me away from blogging. Its easier, more interactive, and more trendy I guess. However, I've set up my phone so that I can now mobile blog. Of course, I can also mobile Facebook, so who knows.

David Beckham. Douche. Now, I looked at two bookstores last night trying to get the new book about him, but had no luck. I did, however, read some longer excerpts online. What's my conclusion based on those excerpts? He's a douche. He clearly came to the Galaxy and MLS looking for a paycheck since his chances at playing for England were down to slim and none. Once those chances came back with a new English coach, all of a sudden he's not as interested in making MLS big. Also, it became very clear to me that "Brand Beckham" became his top priority. His manager became a "consultant" for the Galaxy, they basically hand-picked a new coach, and more-or-less demanded that Beckham be handed the captain's armband from the outset. Once the team began to suck even with GoldenBalls, his hand-picked manager was sent away along with the "consultant". From there Fuckhim was no longer interested in playing for the Galaxy. His first season was a disaster. Season #2 was just as bad. For eleven seasons the Galaxy made the playoffs and won two MLS Cups. Since Beckham's arrival? No playoffs and no cups. He's clearly still a strong player. The team should be better with his than without him. They certainly looked good on Thursday. However, that was win #4 in a row, the three previous without him, and it was against the worst team in the league. So, I think he's a douche. If he helps us win a cup this year - awesome. Otherwise, he clearly wants out after this season so as far as I'm concerned I'll be happy when the circus is over.

There are a lot of good things that I have bought lately that I highly recommend. Most of them are at Trader Joe's. The edamame in the blue bag is one of the best healthy snacks ever. Lightly salted, flavorful, delicious. I also highly recommend the "Old Moon" Zinfandel. Its not a knock-your-socks-off wine, but its a great every day drinker at $6. We also dig the Shredded Oats cereal. Not sugary, but still slightly sweet. It'll also keep you full for a while. Amanda also loves the quick-cook steel cut oats. She throws some blueberries in there along with some agave syrup. Amanda has also become a big fan of caffeine-free Diet Dr. Pepper. Finally, Trader Joe's soy chorizo is really good with eggs and not as greasy as real chorizo.

What else? We are going camping at the end of August. What's the best camping meal ever? I think it would have to be something easy to put together with limited dishes, filling, easy to serve, and made with ingredients that don't require special care (i.e. can be stuffed into a cooler). I know that there are a lot of obvious ones like spaghetti and BBQ. I'm looking for that unique idea. I went camping with a friend's family back in the day and we made something called "hobo packs". You took some kind of meat (chicken, hamburger patty) and put in on a piece of foil. Add some seasoning and veggies. Throw them in the campfire for 10 minutes and you have cooked food. I thought it was awesome. I also want to know what the best camping alcoholic drink is. I usually go with a light mass-produced American beer in large amounts throughout the day and maybe some kind of red wine at night. However, I have also gone the gin-and-tonic route as well.

Books. The last book I finished was "King Leopold's Ghost" which is about Belgian King Leopold and his quest for a colony in the Congo. It was one of the best written non-fiction books that I have read since "Theodore Rex". Its not a happy story in case you were wondering. I also just started Barack Obama's first book "Dreams of My Father". Um, he's way too smart to want to be president. Its really well written and has given me a new insight into how this guy works. I like that he wrote it before his rise to the presidency. I am also going to start "Pride and Prejudice and Zombies". I never read the original Pride and Prejudice, but I still expect to enjoy this book. I like these sort of satirical novels. I really liked "Lamb" and "Fool" by Christopher Moore. They were full of dirty jokes that play to the humor of a thirteen year-old boy, which my wife says is my type of humor. As I look to my bookshelf there are about 25 more books that I own that I never read. OK, its more than 25, but I don't want to admit to more than that.

I'm sure that there were more things that I wanted to talk about, but I forget. Maybe I'll do some mobile blogging next week. Also, I'm done with summer school after this week. That's a whole other subject. Summer school is the best and worst way to make extra money as a teacher.

96

2009-04-15T00:01:00.000-07:00

I wrote about this a few years back, but today marks the 20th anniversary of the tragedy at Hillsborough where 96 Liverpool fans lost their lives. I will re-post what I wrote last time.

"On April 15th, 1989, Liverpool FC were set to play Nottingham Forest in an FA Cup Semi-final at Hillsborough, the stadium normally home to Sheffield Wednesday. As was custom during that decade, Liverpool fans were separated from Forest fans by fences, especially on the terraces (the cheapest section where there were no actual seats, just concrete floors and some rails). As gametime appraoched, more than 5000 Liverpool fans were still trying to enter the grounds. Instead of delaying the start of the game, police opened another gate, allowing a flood of fans to enter the terraces, crushing many of the fans that had already entered. The game was postponed, and after more than 10 minutes, a gate was opened allowing fans to escape onto the pitch (field). Once the section was emptied, there was a total of 95 Liverpool fans that had been crushed or trampled to death, and one fan died several years later after being in a persistent vegetative state.

Since the Hillsborough tragedy, stadiums have gotten rid of the terraces in favor of actual seating."

As I said before, I am a season ticket holder for the LA Galaxy and have attended around 150 professional and international games in the last 10 years or so. I get so much pleasure out of watching the beautiful game, the camaraderie that I share with my fellow fans, and just the time outdoors having food and drink (mostly drink). Its hard for me to imagine a game that I have come to love so much bringing so much pain to so many.

In their honor, I post the names of those that lost their lives that day:

You'll Never Walk Alone
John Alfred Anderson (62)	Thomas Howard (39)
Colin Mark Ashcroft (19)	Thomas Anthony Howard (14)
James Gary Aspinall (18)	Eric George Hughes (42)
Kester Roger Marcus Ball (16)	Alan Johnston (29)
Gerard Bernard Patrick Baron (67)	Christine Anne Jones (27)
Simon Bell (17)	Gary Philip Jones (18)
Barry Sidney Bennett (26)	Richard Jones (25)
David John Benson (22)	Nicholas Peter Joynes (27)
David William Birtle (22)	Anthony Peter Kelly (29)
Tony Bland (22)	Michael David Kelly (38)
Paul David Brady (21)	Carl David Lewis (18)
Andrew Mark Brookes (26)	David William Mather (19)
Carl Brown (18)	Brian Christopher Mathews (38)
David Steven Brown (25)	Francis Joseph McAllister (27)
Henry Thomas Burke (47)	John McBrien (18)
Peter Andrew Burkett (24)	Marion Hazel McCabe (21)
Paul William Carlile (19)	Joseph Daniel McCarthy (21)
Raymond Thomas Chapman (50)	Peter McDonnell (21)
Gary Christopher Church (19)	Alan McGlone (28)
Joseph Clark (29)	Keith McGrath (17)
Paul Clark (18)	Paul Brian Murray (14)
Gary Collins (22)	Lee Nicol (14)
Stephen Paul Copoc (20)	Stephen Francis O'Neill (17)
Tracey Elizabeth Cox (23)	Jonathon Owens (18)
James Philip Delaney (19)	William Roy Pemberton (23)
Christopher Barry Devonside (18)	Carl William Rimmer (21)
Christopher Edwards (29)	David George Rimmer (38)
Vincent Michael Fitzsimmons (34)	Graham John Roberts (24)
Thomas Steven Fox (21)	Steven Joseph Robinson (17)
Jon-Paul Gilhooley (10)	Henry Charles Rogers (17)
Barry Glover (27)	Colin Andrew Hugh William Sefton (23)
Ian Thomas Glover (20)	Inger Shah (38)
Derrick George Godwin (24)	Paula Ann Smith (26)
Roy Harry Hamilton (34)	Adam Edward Spearritt (14)
Philip Hammond (14)	Philip John Steele (15)
Eric Hankin (33)	David Leonard Thomas (23)
Gary Harrison (27)	Patrik John Thompson (35)
Stephen Francis Harrison (31)	Peter Reuben Thompson (30)
Peter Andrew Harrison (15)	Stuart Paul William Thompson (17)
David Hawley (39)	Peter Francis Tootle (21)
James Robert Hennessy (29)	Christopher James Traynor (26)
Paul Anthony Hewitson (26)	Martin Kevin Traynor (16)
Carl Darren Hewitt (17)	Kevin Tyrrell (15)
Nicholas Michael Hewitt (16)	Colin Wafer (19)
Sarah Louise Hicks (19)	Ian David Whelan (19)
Victoria Jane Hicks (15)	Martin Kenneth Wild (29)
Gordon Rodney Horn (20)	Kevin Daniel Williams (15)
Arthur Horrocks (41)	Graham John Wright (17)

As my annual tribute to those 96 fans who lost their lives, I will post their names and ages here:

Where I ask for money

2009-03-18T22:03:00.000-07:00

OK, here's the deal. As most of you know, I am a teacher. As most of you also know, I am a teacher in Los Angeles. As I'm guessing most of you know, LAUSD is going broke. Therefore, I have turned to an alternate source trying to get some resources for my classroom.

There is a website called "Donors Choose" where teachers can submit needs for school supplies and let donors from wherever donate towards the cause. Its a safe way to help out schools because you know exactly where your money is going.

Editor's note: I was given a matching grant from the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation for this request. If you give now, they will match your donation.

In any case, I am looking to get a class set of Thomas Friedman's book "Hot, Flat, and Crowded" to use for my Economics class. Not only is it a really good book, but it also gives outstanding examples of Economic concepts such as incentives, tradeoffs, costs/benefits, markets, demand & supply, etc. AND it talks a lot about globalization and the environment. If you follow this link, you can donate to the cause. Right now I only have $100 of the $978 I need to cover the cost of the books, shipping, etc. Any help you can give would be greatly appreciated. If I don't get all of the money by July 16th then you can give your money to someone else. (I know, its a kind of crappy system, but maybe I can get another smaller request up to donate towards).

Don't be afraid to e-mail me if you have a question. Thanks.

Green beer and gangrene

2009-03-17T16:02:00.000-07:00

OK, so I'm not going to write about gangrene, but it fits the day better and you'll find that its not far off the actual topic.

First, Happy St. Patrick's Day. I will be enjoying a pint or two of Murphy's at home tonight waiting for my wife to come home from her final. And, yes, I prefer Murphy's to Guinness. I know that sounds blasphemous, but whatever.

Here's the green White House fountain:

Second, I read a really interesting article today about universal health care. The key quote is "No one should face financial ruin because of a mishap with a fork and an avocado" and it makes great sense to me.

addendum to previous post

2009-03-01T12:17:00.000-08:00

Three things I wanted to add. First,

Best New (to me) restaurant experience: Fatty's. Its a vegetarian restaurant in Eagle Rock. We both had really good filling dinners that were reasonably priced along with the most ridiculous chocolate cake ever called the "fudgie." They also have a really cool and wallet friendly wine-list. Half-glasses, half bottles, full bottles, lots of organic and biodynamic wines. Highly recommended.

Overrated movie. The Reader. Intriguing story, good acting. However, it didn't leave me with that "wow" feeling that I expect from on Oscar movie. Slumdog did that. Kate Winslett was good, but not great in my view. Maybe the Oscar was more of a "you've been so good in so many films that you deserve this" type of thing. I'm not saying that she was bad, but just not mind-blowing. She did, however, spend a large part of the movie naked.

Craziest shit I ever saw: The guys in this video. I am afraid of some very lame things. They jump off of cliffs and fly around in wingsuits. I suck.

wingsuit base jumping from Ali on Vimeo.

Best/Worst of February

2009-02-25T09:10:00.000-08:00

Worst over-exaggerating right-wing website: Drudge Report. There is sometimes worth new items on this site, but for the most part Matt Drudge or his staff post items that are way overblown or completely false. As I write, the headline is "Is it Something He Said?" underneath a chart showing the declining value of the Dow Jones average. (Ed. Note: after writing this I found another reference to Drudge's trend here) It couldn't possibly have anything to do with the general policy of de-regulation under the last administration. It must be a speech that outlines the plan of recovery that surveys have shown are generally approved by the public. Also featured are articles about how Joe Biden forgot the name of the recovery website and how Keith Olbermann said "Oh God" just before Jindal's response to Obama's speech. Check the video on that to see what you really think.

Worst GOP response to a presidential address: Bobby Jindal. It felt like Sesame Street. I hope his policies are better than his speaking ability or this guy's presidential hopes are not looking good.

Worst? Best? surprise package: My Something Store Purchase. So I got a wire stripper/cutter. Its actually pretty useful and way better than a pouch made of zippers, which seems to be the most common gift.

Best TV Show new to me. Flight of the Choncords. I briefly checked it out early in its run, but maybe caught a bad two minutes. I freakin' love this show - specifically the songs.

Worst Movie News: Ghostbusters 3. I'm going with no on this one.

Best Podcast of the Month: BBC's 5 Live Football Daily. Daily soccer news quick and to the point. Really enjoyable.

Best Podcast change: Sections of TotN. NPR's Talk of the Nation Podcast is now broken up into sections, one for each topic. It lets you decide which ones you want to hear. Brilliant.

Worst radio show to disappear: Tom Leykis. I sort of liked his show back when it was on AM. Once it was on FM it turned into the same thing everyday: Tom talking about how to get laid and callers bragging about getting laid. Lame. Good riddance.

Worst news: Radio is dying. Indie 103.1 is gone. 97.1 Talk is now Disney-pop. What's next. Not satellite. Their subscriptions are also down. And I'm not paying for radio.

Best Sports Tournament: UEFA Champions League. You take the top teams from all of the European leagues and have them compete against each other. Sure, there are pitfalls, but it never fails to produce excitement. Usually it comes down to mostly English, Spanish, and Italian teams, but Germany and even Portugal sneak in once in a while. My Mighty Reds Liverpool FC beat superstar central Real Madrid yesterday with a goal by Israeli international Yossi Benayoun in the 82nd minute.

Best news for me, Worst news for him: Landon Donovan's stay at Bayern Munich in Germany doesn't seem to be working out. He wasn't even on the bench yesterday for their 5-0 thrashing of Sporting Lisbon. Sucks for him, awesome for the Galaxy.

Worst Lose-Lose situation: David Beckham. He wants to stay in Italy. I want him to stay in Italy. It looks increasingly unlikely that it will happen. Nothing like having $250 million worth of a player who would rather be somewhere else. Fact is he contributed little to the Galaxy outside of shirt and ticket sales.

Something

2009-02-08T08:00:00.001-08:00

So there is an internet store called the Something Store. You send them $10 and they send you something. What you get is new and may be worth a dollar or a lot more than $10. You just don't know.

Well, I had about $12 sitting in my PayPal account and no idea what else I would do with it, so I ordered "something" and I am excited about what I might get. However, I am likely to be disappointed. The one thing I dread is a pouch covered in zippers that seems to be the most common gift.

Keep your fingers crossed.

Real American Art

2009-02-05T19:02:00.001-08:00

Best/Worst of January

2009-02-05T01:14:00.000-08:00

I just want to talk about some of the things I liked and disliked in January.

Best Food. We went to dinner at Red, White and Bluezz in Pasadena. It was super good. Had venison with a sour cherry reduction sauce. Really good wine list. Pricey, but recommended.

Best new President. Barack Obama. Yeah, I sound like a dork saying it again and he had very little competition in this category, but I am pretty amped about the possibilities.

Worst website that I check out almost every day. Drudge Report. I just can't get over how ridiculous this guy is. If you go there right now I am willing to guess that at least one headline is completely blown out of proportion. And he loves pointing out when its really cold in places despite our claims of global warming, which only points out that he doesn't know the difference between weather and climate.

Worst state. California. Money is withheld from my paycheck so I can pay taxes at the end of the year. California spent it and will be sending me in IOU. Will they pay penalties and interest like I would have to if I didn't pay? Not likely. At least we have the highest paid state legislature in the country.

Best new (to me) bar. The York. White people are sometimes scared to enter Highland Park. Yeah, I said it. Well, it is not only home to possibly the best Taco Truck in Los Angeles, but also hosts The York. Good beer. Good food. Attractive and very nice bartenders. Best jukebox selections in history. And most important - not a scene.

Worst weather. Southern California. I know the East coasters will get all pissy about this, but I have a bit of a problem with 80+ in January. OK, its not that big of a problem and I know this is why my house cost so much, but still. A little cold would be nice.

Best book. I read 2.5 books in January and they were actually all good. Pasadena's One City One Story book this year is Luis Alberto Urrea's The Hummingbird's Daughter. Interesting story, really well written. Also read The Watchmen. Too much naked blue guy, but excited about the movie. Still working on Thomas Friedman's Hot, Flat and Crowded. I've been marking interesting or great ideas with little post-it flags. I have around 40 things marked so far. Great read.

Best Tax Software. Dude, I love Turbo Tax. It makes my life sooooooo easy. Got the whole thing done in like an hour.

Best TV. If you haven't gone flatscreen HD yet you really need to. The picture is so much better and it just takes up less space. Don't feel the pressure to go all out and get the monster 60"+ model, you don't need it to appreciate the clarity. I went with the 32" Toshiba and its perfect. Everyone said that no matter what I bought I would wish I had got one a little bigger, but I'm just not feeling that. (However, if you have the $$$, by all means get a big-ass TV)

Best Christmas gift. This counts for January because I started using it in January. Amanda got me a new Klean Kanteen stainless steel water bottle. Its awesome. Holds 40 ounces and doesn't get all musty and gross like the nalgene bottle. Stop wasting plastic and get one.

Ed. Note: I edited a part of this post after publishing it since there was some offense taken at one remark. That's why it looks different. I apologize if offense was taken, none was intended.

Super Bowl gluttony

2009-01-31T22:18:00.000-08:00

For those of you looking for the perfect Super Bowl snack, I offer these two options courtesy of an e-mail that my dad sent me.

First, the Snack Stadium. Nearly 25,000 calories of food that should not go together. Bacon, twinkies, and guacamole? Questionable.

Second, I present to you the bacon explosion. Its a very simple recipe that only involves bacon, Italian sausage, BBQ sauce, and seasoning - which I guess gives you a clue to its pure meatiness. You really need to go to the link to see all of the pictures to really appreciate this one.

my love for America continually diminishes

2009-01-17T09:58:00.001-08:00

I thought that after the Wal-Mart shopping death, the frequent occurrences of fights at Chuck E. Cheese, and the PlayMobil Airport Security Check toy I had reached an all-time low in my respect for my fellow Americans. Well, I was wrong. On Kevin and Bean the other morning they talked to the guy who originally came up with the idea for UFC Ultimate Fighting. After selling his idea for practically nothing before it became a billion-dollar industry, he needed to come up with something new. X-Arm. Basically, its arm-wrestling, but you can kick and punch each other. You win by accumulating pins or by knocking the other guy out. Its just as bad as it sounds.

A new toy for a new generation

2009-01-15T21:05:00.000-08:00

I have a couple of cousins who used to collect Playmobil toys back in the day. You know what I am talking about - the little plastic characters with C-shaped hands and interchangeable hairpieces? (Basically the upper-end version of lego I think). Well, those two have grown up now and will lose out on the opportunity to own this:

The Playmobil Security Checkpoint. This alone is not terribly funny and I know that. Click on the link and read the reviews and you'll see why I posted this.

Something I came across

2009-01-08T12:47:00.000-08:00

I was reading a soccer message board this morning and people were posting pics of their first cars (its a Galaxy message board and we're in the off-season so we talk about other random stuff. So, here is a picture of something very close to my first car - a '77 Dodge Van.

The only differences between the van in these pictures and the van that my brother and I shared are that our van had a ladder on the back and large windows on the side. Ours was the same devastatingly awesome red-orange paint, had the same wood paneling on the inside of the doors, same brown/yellow shag carpet, and you could set up a bed in the back.

We had a lot of fun in that van. We had it off the ground a few times, got pulled over by the Border Patrol once, dragged 10+ people to Del Taco at lunch during high school, slept in it many times, took it camping, amongst other things.

Last post of the year

2008-12-31T10:47:00.000-08:00

2008 has come and gone and we still don't have flying cars. However, 2009 looks promising. Not for flying cars, but at least for some positive change: New president, World Cup Qualifying matches, Liverpool leading the EPL, lower gas prices, large hadron collider, etc.

I also need to make some positive changes. Less weight, less TV, more reading, more vegetables, more cleaning (the same promises I make every year), but I feel a renewed sense of motivation to meet my goals. A new house will force me off the couch to make repairs and improvements. Although I just bought a new TV, I am growing weary of reality TV and most sitcoms blow. In the moving process I also realized just how many unread books I have. Got to get on that.

My predictions for 2009:
1. The U.S. will easily qualify for World Cup 2010 - in the process beating Mexico in Mexico City for the first time.
2. 20% less Jeff.
3. economic recovery starting around October
4. Gas prices back up to at least $2.75
5. the fall of one major authoritarian government (Russia, Iran, Venezuela, or some other oil-based authoritarian rule). Yes, I know that calling these leaders authoritarian is a stretch, but its the best we got.
6. Famous/celebrity deaths: O.J., Hugh Hefner, Amy Winehouse, Ernest Borgnine, Ted Stevens
7. A record number of species go extinct, including one major (tiger, polar bear, Asian elephant)
8. One of the country's major newspapers will shut down (L.A. Times, Washington Post, etc.)

I know that some of these are pretty general, but I'm not pulling some Nostradamus bullshit and being all cryptic so I can claim that my prediction came true no matter what happens. Plus, some of my predictions are more like things that I fear are coming true.

In any case, enjoy the new year. Do something good this year.

Americans are assholes

2008-11-29T07:16:00.000-08:00

I have hated Wal-Mart for a very long time. Although the number one issue fueling this hatred has always been their treatment of employees, the annoying people who shop there come in a close second.

They may have switched places yesterday.

In case you haven't read this yet, a man was killed yesterday at a Wal-Mart in the Long Island area. No, he wasn't robbed and killed in the parking lot, or crushed by a collapsing roof panel, but he was trampled to death by the people rushing in at 5am to do their Christmas shopping. Apparently they could not wait long enough for him to get the doors open and broke through the partially open doors. According to the story, they also trampled other Wal-Mart employees trying to help the dying man. Along with the death, one pregnant woman was trampled, causing her to miscarry.

What for? A cheap TV? A discount XBox? A $9 Hulk DVD? Well, if this video has anything to say about it, people have clearly let their material possessions become more important than the people around them.

Who is to blame for this? Certainly Wal-Mart at some level. They, along with every other store hype the super deals on Black Friday, only to offer a few products at that price. This definitely contributes to the frenzy. The news gets a little piece as well, as they add to the hype of Black Friday shopping. And I guess you have to blame the 2000 idiots lined up at Wal-Mart at 5am.

How do we stop it? Maybe we can't. I guarantee Wal-Mart will get sued a few times for this. The first article says that police are looking to identify the people that trampled the man and 4 other injured customers. Maybe $100 million from Wal-Mart and a couple of 20-year sentences will get people to think a little differently.

Although I highly doubt it. That's why we are assholes.

The numbers of moving

2008-11-17T19:22:00.000-08:00

8 incompetent Sears employees that I dealt with.
2 things that the plumber broke while trying to fix something else
4 times paying more than the original estimate
1 new home that I love
1 mortgage that is way more than rent
0 more months throwing money away to rent
12 gallons of paint
2 wax rings for the toilet (one that was the wrong size)
3 times laughing silently when I said the word "caulk"
6 hours letting other people move our stuff for us
29 days of anticipation from closing escrow to moving in
55 things I will do differently next time that I buy
8 people who we will ever be thankful to for helping us paint
4000 dollars worth of new wood flooring
1 patio that will be awesome in the spring
923 times being called "boss" by someone in the service industry
1 father-in-law who bravely climbed onto a jerry-rigged scaffold to paint one foot of wall
10 hours spent trying to take up tile (worst job ever - worse than jizz-mopper)
17 trips to various hardware stores (Home Depot, Ace, Lowe's, OSH)
97 cents in change found in the couch cushions
1 previous owner who clearly took no pride in ownership (which helped our price)
2 great views
countless hours of labor
zero regrets

A couple of things

2008-11-14T06:55:00.000-08:00

Two things I want to mention:

First, if you are an opponent to the recently passed California Proposition 8 then I suggest that you tune in tonight to the Fox"News" program Hannity and Colmes. The rector of my church, Ed Bacon, will be on tonight to talk about Prop 8.

Second, I want to congratulate a good friend of mine, Jose Navarro, on being named one of five California State Teachers of the Year. He deserves that award more than anyone I know. He works tirelessly for our students and I've certainly learned a lot from him. It also highlights the impossibility of my job. Every 11th grade student he has moves on to my class in the 12th grade. I have to follow after the state teacher of the year. No pressure there.

Ben Affleck does a pretty good Keith Olbermann:

2008-11-11T15:44:00.001-08:00

Wow!

2008-11-04T21:44:00.000-08:00

In December 2006 I was traveling to an economics conference in Wichita, Kansas. During my travels, I read Barack Obama's Audacity of Hope. Having read it, I found myself completely sold on ideas that seemed fair, just, and just plain common sense. It was then that I knew that I could support his run for the presidency.

Words can't describe how proud I am to be American today. I can't wait for inauguration day.

"And to all those watching tonight from beyond our shores, from parliaments and palaces to those who are huddled around radios in the forgotten corners of our world, our stories are singular, but our destiny is shared, and a new dawn of American leadership is at hand."

My pride in California, however, has taken a huge hit. Let's hope the numbers on Prop 8 change in the next few hours.

funny cartoons

2008-10-19T21:29:00.000-07:00

During this last year I have had the pleasure of working with a really fun art teacher at my school. Although she is now a high school art teacher, she was formerly an animator for the Simpsons amongst other well-known cartoons. Her husband continues to direct episodes of Family Guy.

In any case, she turned me on to this really cool animator named Don Hertzfeldt. Below is the first Hertzfeldt cartoon that she showed me. Its simple but awesome.

Notes on the Race #7

2008-10-16T22:45:00.000-07:00

I was talking with my wife last weekend about why I like Obama's tax plan a lot better than McCain's. In my explanation, I mentioned how often people in the upper tax brackets forget that, although maybe their hard work got them the success that they well deserve, that they need the people below them to fuel that success. In last night's debate, the two candidates got bogged down forever talking about Joe the plumber (who, by the way, is not a licensed plumber). Joe and McCain insisted that Obama's tax plan was going to punish average guys like Joe for being successful. In the actual conversation that Obama had with Joe the (not) Plumber, he said this:

"For folks like me who have worked hard, but frankly also been lucky, I don't mind paying just a little bit more than the waitress that I just met over there who's -- things are slow and she can barely make the rent.
My attitude is that if the economy's good for folks from the bottom up, it's gonna be good for everybody. If you've got a plumbing business, you're going to be better off if you've got a whole bunch of customers who can afford to hire you, and right now everybody's so pinched that business is bad for everybody, and I think when you spread the wealth around, it's good for everybody."

What a novel fucking idea. Look out for the other guy - not just yourself. In the current "What's in it for me" era, we often forget that there are other people around who need help. PEOPLE. HUMANS. Some need help because they never got it from their parents or family. Why not help them a bit? Some got their by making a few mistakes. Why not give them a second chance? That seems like a big teaching of Christianity. What might come of this help for the other guy? Maybe, just maybe, you'll benefit in turn.

As McCain continues to push for privatization of everything and rails against any kind of government help, let's remember that there are some who don't have the knowledge or experience to handle their own retirement. Let's remember that the government saved our economy in the 1930s (and 2008), which is not a bad thing. Maybe we should look into solving our problems together instead of always going it on our own.

Notes on the Race #6

2008-10-11T10:23:00.000-07:00

OK, so it has been a while since I said that I would write more after the debates. Here's my less-than-five-sentence review of the VP debates and the TownHall debate with Obama and McCain: Sarah Palin would be a good debater if she knew what she was talking about. Joe Biden did a good job not looking like a sexist while still showing that he knows way more than her. The TownHall debate, my friends, was boring. I hope Wednesday is better.

On to other matters.

1. A bipartisan legislative panel found that Sarah Palin indeed abused her power as governor when she fired the Alaska Public Safety Commissioner. If you haven't read about it before, she pressured the commissioner to fire a trooper that was her former brother-in-law. She not only violated ethics rules, but she also lied about violating ethics rules.

2. The poll numbers really don't look good for McCain. (Note: I still think that national poll numbers don't really show what will happen on election night.) The numbers that I prefer deal with electoral predictions. Those numbers look worse.

3. How does the saying go? You reap what you sew. McCain is finding out what happens when you fan the flames of fear and hate.

Here are some videos of McCain supporters in line to get into one of his rallies:

And one from a rally where the supporter scolds McCain:

Yesterday McCain finally had to deal with the monster he created:

I give McCain some credit for finally telling his own supporters that they are wrong, but this was only after a week of pushing these ideas on them. Once you decide to turn to fear over issues, you have a problem in your campaign. When the Secret Service has to investigate death threats directed towards your opponent coming from your supporters at one of your rallies - you have a really big problem.

4. Finally, in the scariest story of the day, sharks are reproducing asexually. I was sure that the big animal takeover would be led by monkeys, but my fears may have been misdirected. However, an even bigger fear would be a monkey-shark alliance.

Notes on the Race #5

2008-09-26T17:19:00.000-07:00

Just a quick on tonight. More after the debates.

1. McCain suspends (but not actually suspends, just says that he does) his campaign to deal with the economic crisis. Two things about this: 1. Nobody's buying this. The poll numbers were down and he needed something to give him a boost. Palin is losing her popularity so he needs a new "hail mary" to get him back in the news. I don' think that worked out for him. 2. Really? Do presidents get to call time out when there are too many crisis to deal with?

2. I am done telling people to vote for Obama. You heard me right. There's nothing more I can say about Obama that the undecided voters don't know. My new focus is to get people to not vote for McCain. My number one argument? Sarah Palin.

Here's my favorite clip from her interview with Katie Couric (who is well known for hard-hitting interviews...right?)

And here's Jack Cafferty's take on Palin (with another clip from the interview)

It should be easy to tell why Jack Cafferty is a hero in the Austin/Kimball household.

How can you watch those clips and honestly vote for McCain knowing that: (a) he chose her, (b) she could easily become president, and (b) she's even too dangerous as vice-president? I really, really, really need to talk to a full-on Republican that can tell me why McCain is still the best choice.

Great dancers

2008-09-19T23:01:00.000-07:00

You need to stick around for this one, but I feel that its worth it.

This one, however, is short and to the point. And funny.

Notes on the Race #4

2008-09-16T18:45:00.000-07:00

1. How is it possible that people still consider McCain a good candidate while we are facing this tremendous economic crisis? People - he admitted not knowing much about economics!

2. Weird article about Sarah Palin's husband Todd. No, its not about his personal life, but how he more or less inserted himself into the Alaska state government through his wife.

3. The news keeps showing us national presidential polls despite the fact that the national vote doesn't matter. Its called the electoral college. Look it up.

4. Want to know more legitimate election numbers? This is a good site.

5. Michigan Republicans may look to block many people from voting because they lost their homes to foreclosure, thus ending their residency at those addresses. Nice.

6. Sarah Palin bought a tanning bed with her own money to use in the Alaskan Governor's mansion. How is that news?

Tina Fey as Sarah Palin

2008-09-15T21:16:00.001-07:00

We all knew it would be awesome. Check it out.

Notes on the Race #3

2008-09-11T19:50:00.000-07:00

First, I enjoyed these Obama pics. Amanda actually had the idea for the first one early in the primaries. Yes, they are corny, but I like them.

Second, in case you wanted some real numbers on comparing the Obama tax plan with the McCain tax plan, then check out this article. It has this easy-to-read graph. The short version is rich people aren't going to benefit from Obama, but how many of them were going to vote Democrat anyways?

Finally, I can't believe the hub-bub over the pig/lipstick comment. How often does McCain want to show his desperation?

Remember to vote.

Notes on the Race #2

2008-09-06T10:18:00.000-07:00

OK, so Amanda and I were watching McCain give his acceptance/attack/no details speech the other night and she asked what the building in the picture behind him was. I said that I thought it was one of his seven giant houses. Here's the picture:

They did a similar thing with Giuliani having the New York skyline behind him. I thought that it was weird that they would put this giant mansion behind him when they have been trying to paint Obama as the elitist. However, once again I was wrong. It was supposed to be Walter Reed Medical Center. I say "supposed to be" because it was actually Walter Reed Middle School in North Hollywood. Good job.

Numbers. I also saw an article that talks about voter registration numbers in the last 3-8 months. In all but one of the states that he could find information for, the Democrats got more new registrants than the Republicans. In some cases, it was WAY more. The only state with more new Republicans? Alaska. The New York Times confirms this trend going back a few years.

John McCain likes women enough to marry one and to choose one as his running mate, but not enough to vote for equal-pay legislation. Let me explain. I was outraged earlier this year by the Supreme Court's decision in the case of Ledbetter vs. Goodyear in which 5 of the 9 justices ruled against Lilly Ledbetter. She was suing Goodyear Tire Company because she found out that for 19 years they had paid her significantly less then every other person in her position - she was the only female. Although she was awarded $3 million in the original lawsuit, Goodyear won on appeal because she sued after the 180-day waiting period. Here's the deal: you have to sue within 180 days of the specific act of discrimination. According to the law, she could have sued within 180 days of every paycheck. However, she didn't find out within that 180-day period. So the bastards at Goodyear win. And McCain doesn't want to fix it. He didn't even show up to vote. The bill passed the House, but Republicans in the Senate vowed to filibuster and the Democrats didn't have enough votes to stop them. McCain has stated that he would have voted against the bill.

What do Franki Valli, Orleans, Heart, Jackson Browne, and Van Halen all have in common? John McCain is illegally using their music during campaign events and has been asked to stop.

Notes on the race #1

2008-09-04T21:25:00.000-07:00

I feel like I've had a lot of thoughts about the presidential race lately, so I'm going to regularly post them. Here are some for tonight:

- 134 U.S. troops stationed abroad have donated a total of $60, 642 to the Obama campaign. 26 have donated a total of $10,665 to McCain. Not huge numbers considering the $50 million plus Obama has pulled in each of the last couple of months, but those are some huge differences. Oh, and Ron Paul got over $45,000 from just short of 100 troops.

- 2,380 delegates at the RNC. 36 African-Americans (1.5%) The Democrats had 24.5% African-American delegates. How can they still keep a straight face when they call themselves the "Party of Lincoln"?

- I was so (pardon the language) mother-fucking angry last night watching the parade of attacks.

- I take back the mean things I've said about Cindy "dead behind the eyes" McCain. She seems OK. However, estimates say that her outfit last night at the RNC cost over $300,000 - including 3 carat diamond earrings. Obama's the elitist?

- I you haven't seen Jon Stewart talking about Sarah Palin you need to. Its about the funniest thing I've seen all week. Here it is:

Anger

2008-09-03T21:22:00.000-07:00

I got more than a little angry tonight listening to Republicans. Mostly Giuliani. However, I want to throw two quotes out there for you to think about in light of recent hot topics in the presidential race.

"Drill baby drill" - Rudy Giuliani, prompted by chants at the RNC convention tonight.

"Why is Chelsea Clinton so ugly? Because Janet Reno is her father." John McCain in 1998 about a then 17 year-old Chelsea Clinton.

Do I need to say anything else?

A slew of things

2008-08-31T21:21:00.000-07:00

Where does the time go? I'm not going to say that I feel guilty for not posting. It probably means that I have a life. Here are some tidbits about said life:

We had a movie night at Pete and Lauri's to watch The Last Dragon. The following Tuesday, Julius Carrey, who plays Sho' Nuff/Shogun of Harlem died from pancreatic cancer at the age of 56.

So a black guy is officially nominated for President of the U.S. However corny you may think it is, I'm feeling a little more American pride today.

McCain's nominee is pretty hot. She also has a sketchy background that may include lying about opposing the "bridge to nowhere" funding, trying to get her sister's ex-husband fired by using her influence as governor, and possibly covering up her teenage daughter's pregnancy by claiming the child as hers. OK, the last one is still pretty sketchy, but it has been mentioned on DrudgeReport. We'll see where this goes.

I changed my wine tracking software to CellarTracker, which is better than Cork'd. Cork'd was supposed to be renovated, but nothing has happened in over a year. If you click on my list is is completely updated including purchases from my wine-tasting day in Paso Robles.

Speaking of trips, we took two short trips in the last 10 days. First, we went "camping" with my brother, his wife, and my niece. I put it in quotes because my brother has a 20-foot trailer. Amanda and I slept in the tent, but it didn't feel quite right since no meals were prepared outdoors. It was still nice to sit by a campfire and drink beers. Plus, my niece is super-cute and she was wildly entertaining. However, we were constantly being harassed by a band of six marauding geese. I also went fishing, which was everything I hoped it would be minus the catching of fish.

The second trip was a three-nighter in Cambria. Don't ever go there. I only say that because I don't want you to make it more crowded. It is one of my favorite trips ever. I got to do a day of tasting in Paso. Went to Hug, Lone Madrone, L'Aventure, Linne Calodo, and Denner. Paso is better than Napa. Yes, I said it. Cambria never got hotter than 73 or so and there was a regular dry fog. We did a lot of reading, ate a lot of great food, hiked, saw elephant seals, and even watched the Cambria PineDorado parade while eating breakfast. Amanda got to pet a horse and we saw a hawk fly off with a squirrel in its talons. Its a great place.

School starts Wednesday. Back to work. I'm actually excited. I like my job and I'm excited about teaching AP World History. Things will be crazy, but I'm thinking that this could be a good year.

Galaxy are still struggling. Winless since June. Liverpool are looking pretty good, but there are 35 more games to go. Michigan lost its opener again, but I'm caring less and less about the pointy-ball these days.

Did you watch the Olympics? I did. They sucked. Michael Phelps did pretty good, trampoline is retarded, only Nigeria brought a table-tennis team without a member of Chinese descent, gymnastics proved to be a farce again (nothing is a sport if it involves judges giving you scores), Jamaicans run fast, race-walking may be lamer than trampoline, Argentina killed Brazil in soccer and the U.S. women took the gold after a great final against Brazil. There was a lot of diving on TV, which the Chinese are really good at. I credit their flat asses. American chicks have too much junk in the trunk.

In taco truck news, L.A. Superior Court Judge Dennis Aichroth ruled against the county's anti-taco truck law. He went as far to say that it was "arbitrary and not based upon any rational, intrinsic or natural basis". The main part of his argument was that it was an illegal restraint on trade. I'm guessing that the county will appeal, so the fight goes on. I propose a taco truck night in the next week or so in honor of free competition. Salva las trocas.

Ten years ago I was starting my last year of college. Man, I'm old. In fact, I turned 31 last Saturday. Pete, however, is older by 363 days. My dad is even older than that.

Welcome September.

after a month's absence...

2008-08-05T21:44:00.000-07:00

...no excuses for not posting. Just a few notes.

After essentially no time off since December, I finally get to relax a bit. I closed out the year at my regular school, started summer school after the weekend, finished summer school, had one free Saturday, then did a week-long conference in Claremont. Two days in a conference next week, then back to work at the beginning of September. FYI, most teachers who care about their jobs do a crapload of work during the summer even though school is not in session.

I'm trying to get amped for the upcoming elections, but I don't think the campaigns are in full swing yet. Granted, McCain has come up with some doosies comparing Obama to Brittney Spears and Paris Hilton and by making a mountain from a molehill from Obama's suggestion that people keep watch on their tire pressure as a way to save gas (which works by the way), but there still seems to be little urgency - which I think is just fine. Once we get through the party conventions things will get rolling.

Soccer? The Galaxy are not doing so well right now. No wins since June 14th. Dropped from 1st to 4th. Heads are gonna roll soon. Players? Maybe. Management? For Sure. Liverpool, on the other hand, are looking good. We picked up another serious striker in Robbie Keane and are poised to pick up an absolutely outstanding left midfielder in Gareth Barry. We are looking good for our August 16th opener against Sunderland. Pub anyone?

I want to end this on a serious and sad note. First, my family lost a very dear friend, Dalton Vick, on Saturday. "Donk" was a serious good-ol' boy from Texas with only a few teeth left from his days of chewing. He loved people, life, and Coors Light. If you can imagine an 80+ year-old version of Boomhauer from King of the Hill, that was Dalt. A great guy that loved his family and, although I could only understand half of what he said, I know that it was all said to bring fun and entertainment. A great character in my life story.

Second, my "weekend family" from March to November, the L.A. Riot Squad, lost a dear friend. Jair Garcia was serving our country in Afghanistan on Friday when the vehicle he was in hit a roadside bomb and he was killed. Most of us knew him from his activities in the first picture - playing soccer and supporting the Galaxy. The rest of the world now knows him as one of the 4,000+ that has given their lives in our "war on terror". I won't get into my political views on this subject, but I will say that it hits home a little more when someone you knew is on that list. Jair leaves behind a 9 year-old son and wife.

Both of them will be missed.

America...love it or leave it

2008-07-04T09:31:00.000-07:00

That's maybe my favorite lame catch phrase used in uber-conservative arguments. It might be second to "God made Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve". Either way, if you use these slogans you are a moron. In any case, here are some thoughts for your 4th of July.

In the story of the year, a school in New Jersey went into lockdown for 30 minutes because a student saw a ninja in the woods. There are two problems with this story. First, you would never see the ninja sneaking up on you. Second, a locked school door would never stop a ninja.

A great American hero, Jesse Helms, died this morning. Of course, he was only a great American hero to racists, homophobes, and the tobacco industry - but whose counting?

Spain deservedly won Euro 2004. I placed 66th out of what appears to be about 70,000 people who entered ESPN's Euro Pick 'em competition. I'm awesome.

Maybe they found the big chink in Obama's armor: FISA. I'm not terribly happy about this. On a positive note, I don't think McCain can say much about it.

How do you rescue 16 hostages from a guerrilla army that has been fighting the government for 40 years? You tell them that you are one of them, land a helicopter, and take the hostages to freedom. Sounds pretty lame, but it worked in Colombia. I would have loved to be a fly on the wall at the FARC meeting when these idiots had to explain the story to their leader.

The American Family Association is telling people to boycott McDonald's because they promote the gay agenda. No joke.

2008-06-22T12:10:00.000-07:00

Random thoughts for a summer evening.

2008-06-18T18:19:00.000-07:00

So I'm one glass into a bottle of 2006 Pascual Tosa Malbec (which is outrageously good for $10) and feeling the need to write something.

POLITICS. Four months ago I predicted that Obama would win the nomination. It finally came through. Now we just need to beat angry John McCain.

SPORTS. I know many people don't want to hear this, but I was happy to see a Celtic victory. Its been a while and although Boston fans can be assholes, they are passionate and unwavering. The Lakers cater to the wealthy and fill their first 10 rows with people looking to be seen. Its a business to them and I can't deal with that. Of course, my favorite soccer team went out and spent $250 million to fill some seats so what do I know.

BEER. What's up with July 4th? Who is hosting the BBQ? Let me know. FYI, my top beer for the summer is going to be Firestone Double Barrel. That and sapphire and tonics.

MUSIC. New Kids on the Block reunion tour? You heard right. October 8th and November 26th at Staples (now you don't need to look it up Randy)

WORK. I turned in grades today. Now, most of you have never experience the behind-the-scenes world of school. (All of those rumors you heard about certain teachers that smoked weed and did crazy shit are probably true) We all saw the world of education through the eyes of a student, but there is so much that we don't catch. In this case, you don't realize how stressful turning in grades can be. Here is the process for me:

1. I have to submit grades on the internet. This is very ironic since LAUSD still uses a DOS-based system for its student database. Somehow these two combine, with often disastrous results. I submit grades four times during a semester.
2. At the 10-week and 15-week submissions, I must put a warning that the student is in danger of failing. If I don't I can't fail them at the end of the semester.
3. Seniors are a special case. At the 18-week point I have to submit a list of seniors that are going to fail for sure. At least that's what the letter says. The school then sends a letter home telling the parent that their kid will not be graduating. Here's the catch. There are still two weeks left. According to the school, I can't fail a kid that doesn't get a letter sent home, but I'm also not supposed to pass a kid once they receive the letter. If I feel the need to change my mind and pass them, then I have to fill out a form for every kid that I change from failing to passing. That number was six this year. I originally submitted 24 as sure-to-fail. The administrator in charge complained that I did this. I complained that their system was retarded.
4. Once I submit these grade online I have to generate a 13-page report, print it, double-check that I did it right, and sign all 13 pages. This report is due tomorrow. I had a final today. The "window" to submit grades closed at 6:00 tonight. So I had about 7 hours from the end of the last final to finish grading everything and submit the grades.
5. The last step is to submit a gradebook that justifies all of my grades. LAUSD requires that I have two grades for every week of the semester. Besides an account of every assignment for every student, I have to also include a log of parent contacts, course syllabi, grading scales, and attendance records. I've worked out a system where this is super-easy for me, but I didn't know about this my first year and I got killed.
6. OK, so there is one more optional step. I have to listen to seniors cry about how my class is the only reason they didn't graduate. I think that will be avoided this year.

DRUNKS. Check out the Pete and Randy Podcast at Rat Race. Good times.

Finally, SOCCER. Galaxy are doing good. Join me at a game sometime, I promise beer and festive times. Euro 2008 is moving into the quarterfinals. This is basically like World Cup with only European teams. Its a huge deal. As of Sunday, I was #60 out of more than 60,000 in the ESPN Euro pick 'em contest. I've dropped to 278, which I still think is very respectable. Last year's winners, Greece, are out. England didn't even qualify. Both hosts (Austria and Switzerland) are out. Favorites Germany struggled in the group stage as did reigning World champs Italy. The new favorites? Netherlands. They destroyed France and Italy and their backups beat Romania. Record 9 goals in their three games. Total Football is back. The quarterfinal games are at 11:45am every day for the next four days (Thursday-Sunday). I predict that Germany will get a tough victory over Portugal (I have the least confidence in this pick), Croatia will beat Turkey, Netherlands will crush Russia Saturday morning, and Spain will win a shootout with Italy Sunday morning. These should be some great games and you should check them out.

The next step in porn... or any other video I guess

2008-06-02T17:36:00.000-07:00

My brother sent me a link to a website called Immersive Media. They are the people that handle the Google "street view" option. If you don't know what I am talking about go here, enter your home address, and click on "street view. In any case, once you are watching the video you can click and drag on the screen to see the entire 360-degrees around you and up and down. Its pretty cool. Check it out.

WTF?

2008-05-24T09:03:00.001-07:00

It may be getting blown out of proportion a bit, but Hillary doesn't seem to have a problem attacking Obama over the words of another person, Jeremiah Wright, so she should understand why she will get torn up for words she actually spoke.

Do you think Hillary still wants to brag about West Virginia?

2008-05-22T14:44:00.001-07:00

On the night of the West Virginia primary, I got a text from an unnamed person that said "West Virginia is racist". I laughed it off as a joke, but this report by West Virginia Public Radio says that it was no joke at all.

Some wonderful quotes by West Virginia voters:

"Well, it’s his name that messes me up, that Muslim name. Them Muslims, they’re a terrorist, buddy, they almost want to be a terrorist."

"There’s no way under the heavens I’d vote for Obama, because of his beliefs. I’m a born again Christian, and he’s of the Muslim faith or whatever. From what I understand, he don’t believe in God, and we don’t need nobody to ruin our country who don’t believe in God."

"And I don’t like the Hussein thing. I’ve had enough of Hussein."

"You know I didn’t vote for no colored."

Back on the soapbox

2008-05-18T09:29:00.000-07:00

Let me go on the record about something. Republicans are trying to attack Obama for his suggestion that we should have unconditional talks with "enemies" like Iran. Bush even compared Obama's belief with the policy of appeasement used with Hitler at the start of WWII. I have to say that these people are so completely retarded that they should reconsider their careers as politicians. Do you know why we should talk to our enemies? BECAUSE PEOPLE DON'T FUCKING DIE WHEN YOU ARE TALKING!! Its called diplomacy. I know that Bush only uses it with his Saudi oil buddies, but I support the idea of talking to your enemies first, with or without conditions, in order to avoid killing a bunch of people with an unnecessary war. Talking does not show weakness - it shows reasoning, confidence, and strength. Its easy to just say "fuck it - shoot 'em" when you are sitting in an office and someone else has to take the risks.

John McCain has gone after Obama for this idea as well. However, this ad (yes, it was funded by MoveOn.org, but all of the facts are verifiably true) shows that McCain has no problem working with people who not only talk to the world's enemies, but also lobby for them.

Is this really the decision-making ability that we are looking for in a President? I don't necessarily approve of the type of advertising that I'm sure groups on both sides will be making during this summer/fall campaign, but this one was certainly eye-opening.

...and this one too

2008-05-15T16:58:00.000-07:00

Make sure you stay 'til the end (or fast forward if you must)

2008-05-15T16:52:00.000-07:00

One less reason to drink in the morning

2008-05-08T19:08:00.000-07:00

This weekend brings the end of the English Premier League season. Its not an end to all soccer as the Galaxy are in full swing, but I don't get to go to the pub and have a pint at 7am to watch MLS. In any case, European soccer leagues don't work like American sports. There are no playoffs. All 20 teams in England are in one league and whoever ends up in first place in the standings ("top of the table" we say) is the champion. This season, my beloved Liverpool once again left me slightly disappointed with a 4th place finish. However, there are incentives to finish in various spots in the table. Second place (along with the champion) automatically qualify for the group stage of the Champions League, maybe the biggest tournament for clubs in the world. 3rd and 4th enter the qualifying stages of the Champions League, which means that they have to beat up on the 2nd place team from Latvia or something to get into the group stages. 5th place gets you a spot in the UEFA Cup, which is like the "not quite good enough for the Champions League" tournament. After that, the only spots that matter are 18-20 since the lowest three teams in the table are sent down (relegated) to the lower division (called the Championship). The top 3 championship teams are moved up into the Premier League. Next year, Stoke City and West Bromwich Albion will move into the premiership along with the winner of a 4-team playoff.

So, if I haven't yet lost you, here's a run-down of the last games of the Premier League season and why they matter. Pay close attention because even the league championship is yet to be decided.

Sunderland v. Arsenal, Tottenham v. Liverpool, and Middlesboro v. Manchester City won't have an effect on anything except pride and maybe a manager's job.

Birmingham vs. Blackburn. Blackburn have nothing to play for, but Birmingham needs a win along with a loss by Fulham and a loss/tie by Reading to avoid relegation. I recommend rooting for Blackburn not only because American Brad Friedel minds their net, but for another reason that I'll explain later.

Chelsea v. Bolton. Bolton are safe unless they lose by 4+ to Chelsea. Chelsea are tied for the league lead, but need to get more points (1 for tie, 3 for win) than ManU to win the title since ManU have a greater goal differential (goals scored minus goals given up)

Derby v. Reading. Derby sucks and are going to be relegated no matter what. That sucks for the two Americans (Eddie Lewis and Benny Failhaber) on their roster. Reading (another American keeper here - Marcus Hanneman) need a win and a Fulham loss to stay in the Premiership.

Portsmouth v. Fulham. Portsmouth have nothing to play for. Fulham can stay in the league with a win or losses by both Reading and Birmingham. This is my #1 game for the weekend since 5 Americans play for Fulham (Brian McBride, Kasey Keller, Carlos Bocanegra, Clint Dempsey, and Eddie Johnson).

West Ham United v. Aston Villa. If Villa win and Everton loses Villa will move into the UEFA Cup spot (5th place). As a Liverpool fan I have to hate Everton since they are our closest rival, but they also have American Tim Howard in goal so I want them to stay up. (F.Y.I. - there are four Americans playing keeper in the Premier League - all starters)

Wigan v. ManUre (get it - manure, like cow shit? cuz I fucking hate ManU. But not as much as Chelsea). ManU wins and they are champs. If they don't win, they need Chelsea to do the same or worse than them. I'll explain at the end.

Everton v. Newcastle. I'm not sure how Newcastle managed to stay up since they blew goats all year, but they did and this game doesn't matter for them. However, Everton need to at least tie or have Villa not win to keep their spot in the UEFA Cup, which will be good for Tim Howard and the U.S.

Got all that? OK. Here's what I hope happens in the race for the title. I hope ManU lose - big. Then, I want Chelsea to take a one-goal lead into the last part of the game, only to give up two and lose the title in the last 5-10 minutes. That way, those See You Next Tuesdays (think about it) at Chelsea don't get the title and ManU can't celebrate. I hate both of them.

ALL GAMES START AT 7AM!

Hooray for Friday

2008-04-25T16:30:00.000-07:00

New Democratic Ad

2008-04-20T12:36:00.000-07:00

Today's List - 4/19/08

2008-04-19T13:02:00.000-07:00

1. The Galaxy season is underway. Things aren't looking good at the start, but there's signs of improvement.

2. Its 2008. We have cell phones that go on the internet and take pictures, cars that adjust the stereo and seats automatically for each user, and iPods smaller than a box of matches. How is this all possible, yet we have food riots?

3. An interesting article in today's L.A. Times: Cardinal Mahony of the L.A. Catholic Diocese is asking individual parishes to help cover $50 million of the total $720 million in settlements made with victims of sexual abuse by clergy. That sounds pretty ballsy to me.

4. FoxNews and MSNBC reported that Obama may have flipped off Hillary during a speech.

Two things: really?!?! and last I checked flipping a person off involved one finger - Obama used two to scratch his face. Must be a slow news day.

5. Pennsylvania primary is on Tuesday. I think Obama's got the nomination locked up, so I don't care that much about the result. However, it would be nice if he won so we could move on to the business of beating crazy McCain.

6. In case you weren't aware, the end of the Earth is near. You can read the article, but it talks about an atom smasher in Switzerland is closing in on its operating date. The hoped result? The first sighting of the Higgs particle (smaller than a quark, which is smaller than an atom). Another possible result? A black hole that will swallow the Earth.

7. I'm not sure anybody noticed, but the NBA playoffs start this weekend. The NBA playoffs are possibly the most drawn-out pointless event in the world. They make the Democratic nomination process look like an episode of Metalocalypse. At least in the nominating process the result matters. For example, the Lakers will play the Nuggets (we had a friend that called his balls his nuggets) tomorrow and the series goes until MAY 4th!! Two weeks for the first round? This sport is ridiculous. The NCAA tournament has 64 teams and they are done in less than a month.

8. Earth Day is coming. Recycle motherfuckers!

9. My Earth Day challenge to anyone who reads this: stop buying bottled water. Get a re-usable bottle and a Pur or Brita filter. Amanda and I have been doing this for a long time. REI has a wide selection of bottles. Water is a public resource and people are paying more for water than gas. Really. One gallon of gas goes for about $4. One 16-ounce bottle of water goes for about $1. It takes 8 of those bottles to make a gallon. $8/gallon for water?

10. My $10 wine recommendation of the month: 2006 Pascual Toso Malbec. This shit drinks like wines 3-4 times its price and its still young. We've put away two bottles and have three more waiting. Readily available at your local BevMo.

I Google'd "Transgender dancing Hillary Clinton lookalike midget"

2008-03-27T18:03:00.000-07:00

Watch the whole thing

2008-03-23T13:39:00.000-07:00

I'm not saying that I agree 100% with the way he presented the idea, but what does he say in this sermon that is so wrong?

I guess if you only play the "God damn America" quote it looks bad, but in context not as much.

Just sayin'

Today's List - 3/4/08

2008-03-04T17:01:00.000-08:00

So I have been a bad blogger since I haven't posted in a while, but there are many lame excuses including the worst cold in the universe, too much school work, etc. Here are some things:

1. If you haven't been to this website yet you need to check it out: Stuff White People Like. I like 49/80, which makes me 61.25% authentic white. It nails us pretty good.

2. The candidates may be more or less decided upon after tonight. I'm not tired of elections so much as I am tired of listening to a certain candidate that is acting completely desperate.

3. If you want to see a really gross soccer injury go to YouTube and look up Eduardo. Double compound fracture.

4. Did my taxes and got back a good chunk of change. You still have 6 more weeks to figure it out. I used to like to do my taxes early and then wait until the last day and drive to the post office and wait in the car line and drop it off. Since then I have gotten over my need to feel part of society so I do them early and file online.

5. Pete texted me (he never actually calls people on the phone - just text) about a Last Starfighter sequel. I thought that he was mocking me, but it may actually be true and may feature the star of the original, Lance Guest. (FYI - I did not have to search for the name of the star of the original - Lance Guest is a regular topic of conversation in our home.)

6. Other movies in the works to be excited about: Thundercats (FYI - it'll be CGI, not live action), G.I. Joe (although the cast looks kind weak), and Indiana Jones.

7. Point Break Live. Who's in? In case you don't follow the link, its a theater version of the movie Point Break where Keanu Reeves's role of Johnny Utah is played by a member of the audience. Maybe get a few cocktails at Conrad's and then head downtown? That's what I'm talking about.

Sunday Fun-day

2008-02-24T10:24:00.001-08:00

There are a few things that I want to get off my chest. Most involve politics, so if you are not interested this won't be fun for you.

1. As part of my complete technological overhaul I got a new cell phone. Its one of those giant Palm Treo deals. I got it because I wanted something that would also keep me organized. Since it has a scheduler function that beeps at me when I need to do things. However, it most impressed me when I discovered that I could sync it with my computer wirelessly through bluetooth. Shit is crazy man. I swear to god the robots are going to take over.

2. There have been a number of people that have asked me for recommendations on cheap wine. OK, it was one person, but I feel like I could provide this service for many readers. Here you go: Goats do Roam. $6-8 at Vons. Tons of flavor, good mouthfeel (not watery), and not too sweet. Big House Red: actually made by the Bonny Doon people who put out really good zinfandel. I know Pete has had this and I've seen others too. Good flavor, a little more on the sweet side, but not too much. Unknown wine: Trader Joe's is currently carrying this Spanish style blend that is really good. Its a mix of syrah, bobal, and tempranillo. $10 and they had a ton when I checked last. Trader Joe's also carries the Prosperity Red that I like a lot. None of these are "holy crap that is so fucking good", but they are good "bang for the buck" wines. There is one, Four Vines Zinfandel that I think is a pretty damn good bottle for $11-12. On the higher end, the Ravenswood Tedeschi Zinfandel has been getting rave reviews and is actually a value at $25-30 since its been scoring at the 94-95 range. Drop me an e-mail if you want more specific recommendations.

OK, that's it for the non-politics stuff.

3. John McCain is crazy. I could just refer to his singing "bomb bomb bomb, bomb bomb Iran" or him saying publicly that he hopes Fidel Castro gets to meet Marx really soon, but there is more to it than that. In the comments section of a previous post, I said that I was surprised to see my Texan friend Peter (as opposed to California Pete) say that he would consider voting for Hillary in the primaries because she would be "a slightly less worse president then Obama". He also said that McCain has not changed his mind on issues. First, the one thing that McCain has not changed his mind on is Iraq. I will 100% agree on that. Now, supporting Bush on Iraq is clearly not popular, but is also (in my view) not something that many people will want to vote for. However, here is a list of things that McCain has indeed changed his mind on:

A. In his 2000 campaign McCain called the confederate flag a "symbol of heritage". Why? He was afraid that he could not win the nomination without winning South Carolina. One person even said that this was an "act of political cowardice". Who was that person? John McCain himself.
B. In 2000 McCain called Jerry Falwell an "agent of intolerance" but he gave the 2006 commencement address at Falwell's Liberty University. Yes, the same Jerry Falwell who said that blame for the 9-11 attacks should be placed on Americans because we took God out of schools and allow abortions among other things.
C. In 2003, McCain said that ethanol wouldn't exist if it weren't for Congress. Once he was considering his run for 2008 he changed his mind. Amazingly, Tim Russert called him on it.
D. McCain was a co-sponsor of the DREAM Act, which allows the children of illegal immigrants to gain legal status once they graduate high school. Now? He opposes it. Weird, could it possibly be because he needs to win over conservative voters?
E. Bush's Tax Cuts. McCain in 2001: "I cannot in good conscience support a tax cut in which so many of the benefits go to the most fortunate among us at the expense of middle-class Americans who need tax relief". Today? In favor of Bush's tax cuts.
F. McCain on abortion in 1999: "in the short term, or even the long term, I would not support repeal of Roe v. Wade." McCain on abortion after being called on it by conservatives: "I share our common goal of reducing the staggering number of abortions currently performed in this country and overturning the Roe vs. Wade decision." Looks like he changed his mind.
So, as it turns out, McCain changes his mind on important issues quite a bit.

4. Hillary Clinton. I've already called the race for Obama and I think it will be more or less official come March 5th (day after Texas and Ohio primaries) However, I really want to say something about her campaign: it stinks. First, she pulls out the attack ads in South Carolina. Then she calls Obama a plagiarist for using, with permission and encouragement, two sentences from his friend and endorsers speech. However, her campaign would not say that they had never done the same thing. Finally, yesterday, she busted out the "shame on you Barack Obama" because he was sending out fliers that she said were not true. #1: They were pretty much true although they are designed a little bit deceptively. #2: These things have been out for 2 weeks now. Where was the "shame on you" then? Well, it was in a conference call where one of here supporters compared it to "having Nazis march through Skokie, Ill". A little overboard? Yes, especially since she sent out mailers in New Hampshire, Nevada, and Wisconsin that were not arguably false, but completely false. So I guess it should be "shame on you Hillary Clinton".

Bush is a dirty spy, Part 7

2008-02-15T19:13:00.000-08:00

Decision '08

2008-02-14T10:54:00.001-08:00

The Evil Twin of William Jennings Bryan has looked at the numbers and we are able to make a call in the race for the Democratic nomination for President:

I'm not just being a dick about this either. According to the numbers, there is very little chance that Hillary can catch Obama. Here's why: Obama currently leads in the pledged delegate (not superdelegate) count by a little more than 120 or so delegates. Not an insurmountable lead - or is it? This idea makes several assumptions: First, there are certain states (i.e. Wisconsin) that Obama is likely going to win. Second, there are states that Hillary is likely to win (i.e. Texas and Ohio). If we assume that Obama wins by no more than 10% in the states that he is likely to win than it Hillary would need more than 60% of the vote in both Texas and Ohio - a feat that current trends show is not probable. (look about 2/3 of the way down to see the numbers)

OK, granted, I am being a little presumptuous, but things are looking pretty good.

Today's List - 2/11/08

2008-02-11T19:46:00.000-08:00

1. Happy Birthday Mom!! (She's way younger than you think for having twin sons that are 30. I had the unfortunate pleasure of hearing that we were "too much wine at Thanksgiving" babies.) In any case, I will be bringing presents to the 909 this weekend.

2. This is my first post on my new computer.
2.1 I got a Mac Mini. We are now a 1/2 Mac and 1/2 PC household
2.2 I'm digging the mac, especially now that it has the "mighty mouse" which has a left and right click.
2.3 It doesn't have solitaire. That makes me sad.
2.4 It does have chess. However, when I make superior, yet confusing, moves it just stops playing. No check mate, just freezes.
2.5 The keyboard is way space-age.
2.6 When at the Apple Store I looked at the "Air" and its really thin.
2.7 Its nice to have a computer at home that works so the wife can take hers to school. So really its more like a gift for her, which means I'm off the hook for Valentine's Day.

3. Things are looking pretty good for Obama. There should be a couple more victories tomorrow night.

4. Remember that really cool Obama video? If not, go here. Here is a funny one about McCain.

Cheap shot? Whatever. The guy is bonkers.

5. Best album Grammy went to Herbie Hancock. Only 2nd jazz artist to win the award.

6. The Clinton camp was offended by the MSNBC person that said that they were "pimping out" Chelsea. Today she had breakfast with a 21 year-old superdelegate from Wisconsin. She may not be trading sex for votes (and I emphasize may), but pimping seems like the right term for it.

7. I left the TV in the other room on ABC when I came in here. Now I am hearing what I believe is Miami Sound Machine which leads me to believe that there is some sort of reality dance competition on... just checked and confirmed. Dance War. Turned it to American Gladiators for Pete.

8. Before Pete makes any comments like "Whatever Jeff, I know you were watching Dance War" I want to remind him that he was watching a dog show.

9. Went to Ruth's Chris the other night. That shit is good.

Today's Short List - Super Tuesday

2008-02-05T07:51:00.000-08:00

1. Go vote. People all over the world kill and are killed over voting. You don't have to do either so there's really no excuse. Polls are open at 7am and should remain open until 8pm.

2. I think its clear who I am voting for, which means this is a very nervous day for me. I don't completely buy into polls, but all of them are showing tremendous gains for Obama in all states and in the head-to-heads. Either way, I don't think the Democrats will have a candidate picked tonight. The Republicans might though. Here's a hint: he's fucking nuts.

3. U.S. vs. Mexico tomorrow night at 6pm. Pasadena locals whould head to Lucky Baldwin's if you want to experience a good soccer environment. That's where I'll be. Prediction is easy: 2-0 to the U.S. as usual.

4. I am approaching visitor #9,000. Disturbing. I usually offer up a prize for landmark visitors and then never actually give the prize. This time I will do the same.

Today's List - Super Bowl Sunday

2008-02-03T21:03:00.000-08:00

1. My Super Bowl prediction wasn't too far off. Although I picked the Pats to win I did say that the Giants would cover (they won so that counts) and I called the under on the over/under. Also, I predicted that it would be an ungodly boring game, which it was until the 4th quarter. It was close all game, but it got pretty slow in the middle.

2. My cousin commented on the previous post about a package that was sent to me. Here are the contents of said mysterious package: various jerkies, all in small ziploc sandwich bags, labeled on blue masking tape: beef (made in Brady), buffalo, turkey, and young fawn venison. If you are ever looking for a random Labor Day trip, check out the World Championship BBQ Goat cook-off in Brady, Texas - where my uncle and cousin live. Its honestly a good time and I have never seen more Coors Light consumed in my entire life.

3. This video has been burning up the net for the last day or two. It features the speech that Barack Obama gave after the New Hampshire primaries. It was created by will.i.am of the Black Eyed Peas.

Now, I know that there are many that would call this corny, but I think that those who consider it corny may not be used to the idea that our leaders don't just have to be talking heads full of policies and statistics. They used to give us hope. Lincoln, FDR, JFK, and even Reagan. Why mention Reagan? Because even many right-wing blogs are reacting positively to this video. I may not care for many of Reagan's policies, but I still get chills when I hear his speech honoring the crew of the Challenger. I'm constantly getting more and more excited about the possibilities that this election is bringing.

4. We start a new semester on Tuesday, which means I start teaching Econ again. It has become my favorite subject to teach. This year I am going to do a lot of work talking about Economics and the environment. I'm pretty amped about it.

5. I generally get pretty excited about World Cup, Champions League, and even the Olympics when it comes to soccer tournaments. Well, I am beginning to get excited for another tournament, as are soccer fans all over the world - the African Cup of Nations. There were tons of exciting games in the group stages and the two big favorites (in my view) - Ghana and Ivory Coast, have already booked their spot in the semis. Cameroon's Samuel Eto'o, who also stars for FC Barcelona in Spain, is the tournament's leading scorer. Africa may soon be producing national teams completely capable of winning a world cup. Its not there yet, but they are certainly producing a buttload of major world stars.

6. Super Tuesday is coming. You should go vote. Normally I would create some form of voter's guide on the propositions, but I'm too busy to do that. My brief synopsis: Prop 91 is moot so vote NO. 92 looks pretty good so I'm voting yes, and then a big NO on 93. It sounds OK on the surface, but its really a big sham created by members of the state legislature to allow them to keep their jobs longer through a loophole. Most of the sponsors of the bill are scheduled to be removed soon through term limits and this law would let them stay longer. I call bullshit. I am also voting NO on 94-97 simply because I think we can get a better deal and that this bill gives the tribes tons of room to manipulate how the fees they pay us are determined. However, its more money than we are getting now so I could see someone voting YES with the thought that its OK for now.

This speaks for itself I think

2008-01-31T21:24:00.001-08:00

Today's List - 1/29

2008-01-29T10:43:00.000-08:00

1. It looks like Giuliani may drop out if he doesn't win in Florida tonight. I don't think he will win, so that's one more jerk candidate out of the running. However, its kind of scary because Itchy-trigger-finger McCain is looking pretty strong. I'm glad I'm not Republican - how do you chose between crazy McCain and fake Romney.

2. Both Clinton and Obama really want an endorsement from Bill Richardson. He said that if he is going to endorse a candidate it will likely be by the end of the week and that "it's going to be a gut feeling. It's not going to be about statistics, about past ties." In the same article he tells a story about one of the debates where he stopped listening when a question was directed at another candidate, sort of taking a mental break, when the moderator directed the same question to him "So, Gov. Richardson, what do you think of that?" As he desperately looked for a clue before asking the mod to repeat the question Barack Obama went "Katrina, Katrina" saving Richardson's ass a bit. After what Billary has done in the campaign over the last few weeks do you think she would have helped or fed him to the wolves. I'm going with choice B. So I'm thinking that his "gut" might just tell him that Obama is the way to go.

3. I also think that, although Richardson barely got a word in during his last few debates he was trying to maintain some level of civility - another reason why I think he might choose Obama if anybody.

4. I also think he should choose wisely since I am hoping that he is on the top of the shortlist for VP possibilities. Imagine a VP with some actual positive international experience.

5. Bush did a good job highlighting his presidency last night: an economy crashing under the weight of lenders screwing over poor borrowers and nearly a trillion spent on a war started for false reasons, a Damoclean education program with lofty goals and no funding to back it, and the reputation of an imperialist internationally.

6. My pick for the Super Bowl? OK, its easy to pick the Patriots, but I will also say that the Giants will cover the 13-point spread and that betters should go with the "under" in the over/under, which I think is sitting at around 53 or so. I'm thinking 27-17 in an ungodly boring game.

7. It looks like the Galaxy will pick up another somewhat well-known European player. Celestine Babayaro played for 7 years or so for Chelsea and was last at Newcastle before being waved due to injury issues. If he becomes consistently healthy he will be part of a very solid backline with Abel Xavier, Ty Harden(maybe?), and an undetermined 3rd defender.

8. The proposed tax refund should get most people around $600 and couples around $1200. If you're getting that money, what would you do with it? I more or less spent it on a new Mac Mini that I haven't technically bought yet.

Today's List - 1/25

2008-01-25T10:22:00.000-08:00

1. FYI: Its raining. A lot. That means you need to take it a little easy on the freeway. I saw one accident happen and 3 that had already happened on the freeway on the way to work today. I'm looking at you Mercedes and BMW drivers.

2. Since Derrick asked I will answer: Yeah, I think it sucks that there were a million people waiting to snap a photo of a bodybag with dead Heath Ledger. And I think the coverage of him, Britney Spears, Anna Nicole, et al goes way overboard. I don't blame the paparazzi though. They are doing a job, albeit a sleazy job, but they are only meeting the public's demand for that kind of shit.

3. Wow. Obama absolutely thrashed Hillary in South Carolina. I'm waiting to see if this changes some of the polls in other states. She needed to get her ass handed to her after the dirty campaign that she has been running. Bill needs to get his nuts put in the grinder as well. That whole week before the primaries shows exactly why I don't like her - she doesn't care about what is right, she only cares about what will get her success. Both of those douchebag Clintons should be ashamed of what they are doing. Slate's John Dickerson has a good article about it.

4. I went to Wal-Mart yesterday. No, I did not buy anything. I was only the driver on the trip and I felt like I should let my sister-in-law go where she wanted since it was her daughter in the hospital that brought me back to the 909 yesterday. In any case, that place is quite possibly the closest I will ever get to hell on Earth. Its dirty, crowded, unorganized, and I can't look at the employees without feeling the deepest sympathy for them. I see the t-shirt for $6 and know that it only needs to be $7 in order for the company to pay their employees fair wages and get them some kind of insurance.

5. I feel so much better about the universe today. I have in the past written about my students' poor taste in movies. This weekend many of them went to see "Meet the Spartans" and the majority said that they walked out during the movie and snuck into Rambo. I don't condone theater hopping, but I'm impressed with their decision.

6. On a hypocritical note - has anyone done the theater-hopping thing before. I don't mean buying tickets to one show and going to a different one. I mean you buy for one movie, watch that movie, then sneak into another theater for another movie. I think I might check that out one of these days, maybe check out 3 movies in one day. The problem is that I'm not sure if there will ever be 3 movies in theaters that I want to see at the same time.

7. Read this on a website that I can't find again: "Wolf [from American Gladiators] is the new Chuck Norris". Blasphemy.

I want to do that, but I can't because...I know

2008-01-17T18:41:00.000-08:00

So there is a certain actor that is allegedly crazy, we'll call him Com Truise. He did an interview about a certain religion that I will call Tienscology. Its really funny. So funny that the Tienscologists had it pulled from YouTube, but not this site. Check it out before they pull this one.

"We have to go around the world with a tambourine and a tin cup."

2008-01-17T15:46:00.000-08:00

Today's List - 1/17/08

1. The quote in the title is by Ross Perot. Remember him? Ran for President in '92 as the Reform Party candidate? Big Ears? Well, he said this in reference to the current economy and the practice by large banks of borrowing money from foreign countries. Also talks a lot of shit about McCain. Kind of a funny article.

2. (got this from Lauri). Did you know that there is a person suing the government for 3 quadrillion dollars. Here it is in all its glory: 3,000,000,000,000,000. That's a lot of zeros. There are actually almost 500,000 claims filed against the government for its failure to build good levees to protect New Orleans. One lawyer who represents a bunch of Katrina victims says that a lot of the suits are being filed just to make a point. I think there is a difference between making a point and making an ass out of yourself.

3. I want to give tons of recognition to Jamie Carragher. Most of you don't know who he is, but this week he played his 500th game for Liverpool. What makes this story better is that Liverpool is his hometown team that he supported as a kid and he has never played, nor likely will ever play, for any other team. That's pretty rare in sports these days.

4. Should I explain the Flying Space Monkey vs. Orangutan battle? Maybe, but I think a lot of the blame rests squarely on Lauri's shoulders.

5. Another funny quote from the Ross Perot article. Well, not so much a quote as it is a bumper-sticker that he got in the mail. "Monica Lewinsky's ex-boyfriend's wife for Pres."

6. If you haven't checked out The Onion recently you should think about it.

7. Who is going to check out Cloverfield? I'm getting tempted and may break down and see it this weekend.

8. Speaking of this weekend: U.S. vs. Sweden at the Home Depot Center Saturday evening. I may have two extra tickets and a few extra beers in the cooler. Let me know.

Dates to take note of

2008-01-16T10:36:00.000-08:00

January 28th: Bush's last State of the Union Address. Drinks that night? Concensus says yes. (Read that phrase again. LAST State of the Union address.)

February 5th: Super Tuesday. Tons of primaries and caucuses. Candidates should be decided that night. The League of Space Monkey Voters is hosting a results watching gathering. We extend an invitation to our orangutan brothers in an effort to unite under the hopes for a good Democratic candidate. The show starts when you show up - but maybe not until after 5:00. The CA results should start rolling in at 8:00.

Resolutions

2008-01-13T20:53:00.000-08:00

Every year I make the same lame-ass resolutions and break them by Martin Luther King Day, which is next week. I always say that I'm going to read more and watch less TV, then they put awesome shows on the air like American Gladiators, Ghost Hunters, Deadliest Catch, The Office, etc. I always say that I will work out more and lose some weight, but then In N' Out stays open and beer continues to be legal. I swear that I will do a better job keeping things clean and organized and then I break the other two amendments again.

Well this year I'm not only renewing all of those resolutions, but I am taking on a new one that I think everyone reading this should take on as well. I am going to be more green. It will be easy since Amanda has bought into the idea as well (thanks to Oprah, who always tells Amanda what to do). My challenge to all who read this is to be more green as well. Here are some of the ways that I am changing my lifestyle to be more environmentally friendly:

No more plastic or paper grocery bags. We already take re-usable bags to Trader Joe's. In fact, Amanda and I both have a set of three in our cars so either of us can do the shopping. How easy is it? The bags cost 99-cents at Trader Joe's and when you use them they enter you into a drawing for a $25 gift card. I know other places carry them as well. Americans go through an unreal amount of grocery bags and the plastic ones just sit in landfills forever or end up in the ocean. The paper ones just kill more trees.

High Efficiency bulbs. Pete and Lauri inspired me to take this one more seriously. I bought a package of these more than a year ago at Costco, but they weren't bright enough. Well, there are CFL bulbs out these days that have the same output as 100-watt incandescents. Yes, they cost more, but they are getting cheaper and they last forever and they supposedly have an effect on your electricity bill. By the end of January I will replace all of my old bulbs with CFL bulbs. Except the chandelier, which has small bulbs. I will replace those when I find small CFLs.

Use less paper products. We use way too many paper towels and paper napkins. We have more-or-less ditched the use of paper plates, but napkins are a great convenience. Our goal is to use more cloth napkins when eating, use sponges that can be re-used to wipe down counters, and cloth towels whenever possible.

Take shorter showers. This is easier said than done on cold winter mornings, but your water heater is one of the top 3 users of energy in your home. Plus, it looks like water shortages may be an issue in the years to come.

Unplug things that are not being used. Even when your appliances are turned off they are using power. We have started unplugging things like the toaster and coffee maker when we are not using them. An alternative would be to buy "smart strips" which are power strips that cut off all power to the appliances with the flip of a switch. I may not invest in these yet, but we are working on unplugging things.

I know that there are many more things that we can do to be more green, save energy, etc. I have already decided that my next car will be a hybrid. When we get a house we will look into solar panels. My feeling is that as "green living" becomes more popular companies will be more willing to produce more green products in large numbers, thus reducing their prices. In fact, you can already see this with the CFL bulbs.

What drove me to this resolution? Lots of things. I think that there are only a few foolish people left that are still doubting global warming - mostly because they have a lot to lose by doing so. I want to help with that problem. Also, I think that we have become so dependent on oil as an energy resource that we are held hostage by the price of a barrel and the countries that provide the oil we use. If we can transfer our dependence to more renewable sources (some of which are free like wind and the sun) then we won't need to keep feeding these sometimes sketchy oil barons. Global warming is not our only environmental problem despite its prevalence in the press. We are dumping tons of trash into the environment, especially the oceans. To see what got my attention on this issue check out the special that the L.A. Times ran last year about the oceans.

Again, I hope that many of you reading will also take up the challenge to be more green and get the people around you to do the same.

And don't vote Republican - that will help as well.

Sitting in a dark band room with Bagger Vance

2008-01-11T10:41:00.000-08:00

That's literally what I am doing right now. The band teacher is out and they couldn't get a real sub for him so I am sitting here in the dark band room while the students watch "Legend of Bagger Vance". What does that movie have to do with band? I don't know but that's what the teacher left for them. So, to fill the time, I am going to rant a bit.

First, have you realized that we are going to elect a new president this year?!? Nice. For me, I am almost as excited about the process of electing that new president as I am about the fact that we won't have Bush anymore. I'm pretty sure that most of you know that I am a pretty serious Obama supporter and I'm also pretty excited that there are a lot of people around me that I am jumping on board. Having said that, I want to give my view about where I think this thing is going.

Republicans: I guess its obvious that its down to Giuliani, McCain, Huckabee, and Romney. Let's get serious though. I think Rudy is done. 6th and 4th in the two big state contests doesn't spell victory. Also, I'm not sure he's "America's Mayor" anymore. My real surprise is still how any true Republican can take this guy seriously when he has so many liberal views on issues like abortion. In the end, I don't think Americans still believe in the politics of fear and 9-11 is still Giuliani's calling card. I also don't see much of a shot for Huckabee, but that's more of a hunch than a real theory based on polls or anything. That leaves McCain and Romney. Yesterday, Romney decided to shed a few tears of his own when talking about his father. Maybe they were legit and maybe he wanted to use the Hillary crying tactic. Either way people will see it as fake and that doesn't go well. Somehow Republicans are also ignoring the fact that McCain is crazy and should not be elected president. However, I don't really have a real opinion about who I think will win. I do think that Democrats are rooting for McCain because any debate between McCain and any Democrat ends with the fact that McCain still supports the war in Iraq.

Democrats: Unless something crazy happens in the next week its really down to Clinton and Obama. She won't be able to use the tears again, so that card is out. I'm also wondering how she feels legitimate using the desire for change as the basis for her campaign. Obama went with that back when he wrote his book. Now everyone is running with it. Also, I am still trying to figure out where her 35 years experience is. Obama is often called the inexperienced candidate, but he doesn't have that much less experience than Clinton. Also, he is really the only candidate that seems like he is really speaking honestly. The others seem scripted. I think it will come down to Obama's ability to motivate people and those people will be the ones that give him the nomination after Super Tuesday (February 5th).

That's my very disorganized view of the elections as they stand. I am signing off because the bell is going to ring and I hate the band room.

A new level of nerd-dom

2008-01-08T21:35:00.000-08:00

Today I became a Level 3 Answerer at Yahoo! Answers. Here is the answer that put me over the top. I am also proud that 25% of my answers have been picked as the best answer. Proud in a very nerdy way.

2008 Post #1

2008-01-04T18:00:00.000-08:00

Check out the new Giuliani ad:

In other words - for for him or you will die.

Nice message.

Here's Obama's speech from Iowa last night (its pretty long - 13 minutes). He won the Democratic caucus, Giuliani got 6th in his.

That one is just a little more positive.

Mao-y Christmas

2007-12-24T20:09:00.000-08:00

Have a Happy Christmas. Don't forget that Boxing Day (Dec. 26th) features English Premier League matches from 4:45am until 2pm.

Christmas message

2007-12-22T09:31:00.000-08:00

One more bitch about Christmas

2007-12-14T15:23:00.000-08:00

There is just one other thing about Christmas that drives me absolutely fucking nuts. People - do you really need 800 giant inflatable Christmas decorations on your lawn? Look, I know that the people in the 909 think that these things are classy. They're not. They're not even creative or unique. OK, I'll let the 909ers get away with one, but the rest of you have no excuse. I mean, do you really need the snowglobe AND Santa AND the Grinch AND Winnie the Pooh AND Rudolph AND a Christmas Tree? Did you walk into Home Depot and say "Give me one of every inflatable decoration that you carry"? I bet you did. Douche.

Where Christmas went wrong

2007-12-13T20:22:00.000-08:00

I'm a big fan of Christmas on many levels. As a Christian I like the idea of re-birth and the start of second chances and all that. As human I like the tendency of people to be a little nicer during the holidays. However, its clear to me that somewhere we decided to follow the dark path of obsessing over gift-giving instead of the focus on good-naturedness. How did this happen? Eartha Kitt. You heard me. Eartha "Santa Baby" Kitt. In 1954 she recorded the now classic Christmas song "Santa Baby" in which she sings to Santa in hopes of getting a bunch of expensive shit for Christmas. So I've decided to go through the lyrics of the song as a way to vent my anger against the commercialization this Christmas.

Santa baby, just slip a sable under the tree, for me
OK, have you seen a sable? They're kinda cute, but this bitch wants you to kill a couple dozen to keep her warm.
Been an awful good girl
Santa baby so hurry down the chimney tonight
What? Wait like the rest of us bitch. He's got a whole world to get to and you want him to hurry to your triflin' ass!?

Santa baby, a '54 convertible too, light blue,
You can't just accept a free fucking car - you have to get all picky?!
I'll wait up for you dear
Now you'll wait?
Santa baby, so hurry down the chimney tonight
Nevermind - I guess he should skip all of the children and hit you up first you greedy tramp

Think of all the fun I've missed,
I have a feeling you haven't missed that much fun slut
Think of all the fellows that I haven't kissed
You didn't kiss them on the mouth but I bet you kissed something whore
Next year I could be just as good
If you check off my Christmas list
See!?! She'll only be good if you give her a bunch of shit! Why not be good for the sake of being good. Oh, that's right. You're a filthy hooker

Santa baby, I want a yacht and really that's not a lot
If its not a lot why don't you buy it with all the money you get giving $2 blowjobs in subway bathrooms
Been an angel all year
That's not what the starting line-up for the Detroit Pistons said
Santa baby, so hurry down the chimney tonight
Holy Shit! He gets the point. He'll get there you gold-digging mattress jockey.

Santa honey, one little thing I really need, the deed
To a platinum mine,
OK, so you won't life a finger to get your own car but you'll somehow figure out how to get something from a platinum mine!?! Give me a break. What the fuck are you going to do with a platinum mine!?!
Santa baby, so hurry down the chimney tonight
Hurry before you jump on the next guy in line doorknob?

Santa cutie, and fill my stocking with a duplex and cheques,
Real Estate is actually a pretty smart decision, but can't you just take the checks that will come from the rent you charge? Nope, you need your greed fulfilled right now and with as little of your own effort as possible.
Sign your x on the line
on the contract giving up your soul... and your balls
Santa cutie, and hurry down the chimney tonight
How many times have we seen the hot slutty chick get all flirtatious with the old fat guy to get what she wants? I guess you've taken a page from Anna Nicole's book.

Come and trim my Christmas tree,
Now that's what I'm talking about... a little "trimmin' the tree" for Santa!
With some decorations bought at Tiffany's
Nevermind... cocktease
I really do believe in you,
Let's see if you believe in me
because its hard to believe that there are greedy skank bitches out there that will take advantage of horny fat dudes

Santa baby, forgot to mention one little thing, a ring,
You didn't forget, you just wanted to wait until he brought you all that other shit with the expectation of getting some ass and then you lay another demand on him hooker.
I don't mean on the phone,
Of course you don't a phone call doesn't cost enough
Santa baby, so hurry down the chimney tonight

Hurry down the chimney tonight
Hurry, tonight.
You better hurry and get ready to let Santa into your chimney and I don't mean the one made of bricks.

That made me feel better.

Today's List 12/11

2007-12-11T17:16:00.000-08:00

I've been pretty busy lately with work stuff so I beg your forgiveness for the lack of posts. I have several things to mention so I put them in a list.

1. Pete wants to know what a caucus is. Briefly, people meet according to their district/precinct and talk about the issues. In the case of the presidential election, they talk about the candidates and there is usually 1-2 people that make general statements about each candidate. I think the two parties do things differently, but what it comes down to is they don't vote individually for a candidate, but either choose one of the people present to attend the state convention OR take an unofficial vote on scratch paper and send their single decision to the state party. That's the extent of my knowledge, but I'm sure there's a Wikipedia entry for it. Either way I think its retarded.

2. Peter (from Pete the Elder) loves Giuliani. He had a rough time last week (maybe the week before?) which included getting caught paying for trips to cheat on his wife with city money and the discovery that his company runs security (or something like that) for some guy that helped hide/protect Osama Bin Laden. Added to his cop friend getting busted and the fact that he's an ass and you wonder why he's a leading candidate. Oh wait, I remember why - the rest of the candidates are even bigger ass-clowns. (Note: outside of his intensely evangelical beliefs I actually think Hukabee is their most reasonable candidate)

3. I took 15 of my students today to a breakfast with the State Superintendent of Public Instruction. After his speech one of my students asked him why he always blames teachers for problems at schools. He didn't really know what to say and completely dodged the question. Turns out he's looking to run for governor.

4. Do people actually watch NBA Basketball?

5. I forgot how awesome Big Trouble in Little China is. Thanks for bringing that back Pete.

6. I kick ass at Wheel of Fortune, but I fucking hate watching it.

7. I'm going to start playing the lottery. I figure I throw away $1 here and there anyways so why not.

8. Here's the future:

Plasticware made from corn. It has been around for a while, but its becoming relatively cheaper since regular plastic is made using petroleum.

9. I chaperoned a trip Saturday to the Environmental Youth Conference with some students from my school. Not only did I get to see Fez and Tyrese (who I guess is in Transformers), but I got to talk to a lot of people about new projects looking to help the environment - including corn plastic. In fact, the City of Los Angeles is looking to be a "Zero Waste" city within the next 15-20 years or so.

10. I've you've never read anything by Nick Hornby you should. I just read "Long Way Down" and really enjoyed it. His memoir, Fever Pitch, was the basis of the lame-ass movie with Drew Barrymore and that one guy from Saturday Night Live. However, in his memoir he is not an obsessive Red Sox fan, but an obsessive Arsenal fan.

11. I'll admit it. I frequently listen to KOST since they are on the all-Christmas-music-all-the-time thing.

Disturbing images

2007-11-29T20:01:00.000-08:00

Three times in the last few days my eyes were assaulted by visions that no man should be confronted with.

First, my brother sent me a picture/text message with the title "Want to see what it looks like when a baby poops for the first time in 4 days?" and a picture of the world's largest pile of shit.

Then, I came across a homeless guy in front of a coffee shop in downtown L.A. as I walked from a train station to the place where I had a two-day conference on "Shared Inquiry". After asking me to buy him coffee and food he showed me the sores on his legs that came from sleeping in some god-knows-where filthy place.

Finally, as if I needed to see more, I walked in on two guys having sex in a bathroom in a Carl's Jr. I went into the Macy's Plaza as I was walking back to the train station after the meeting so I could take a leak. Carl's Jr. (which sold beer by the way) was the closest bathroom so I went to use it, but it had one of those coin deals so only customers could use it. Fortunately (or maybe unfortunately in my case) it was actually open. It seemed weird when I walked in because there seemed to be more than one set of feet in the stall. I couldn't hear anything because I was listening to my iPod. I stepped to the urinal, took a leak and began to leave, but I heard weird sounds. I turned, and not only could I clearly see two sets of feet facing the same direction, but through the crack in the door I could see a guy's face at waist level (since he was bending over) and he was clearly grimacing as if...well, you get the point. I turned and got out of there as quick as possible.

Who knew that Carl's Jr. brought that kind of romance?

Why the hell did you do that?

2007-11-26T18:06:00.000-08:00

Have you ever wanted to ask someone why they did something stupid? I feel like most of the time that question goes unanswered purely for the sake of being tactful. I say fuck that. Here are some questions I would like to ask people for honest answers to:

William H. Macy - you are a great actor, why the fuck did you agree to be in Wild Hogs?
Samuel L. Jackson - Were you fucking high when you agreed to be in "The Man"?
George Lucas - JarJar Binks? C'mon. Who has pictures of you blowing a goat that could blackmail you into that decision?
John Kerry: I know that you're kind of a tool, but why did you have to be such a pussy and back down from those SwiftBoat guys? Shit, why did you even go with the Vietnam war hero bit in the first place?
Zach DeLaRocha: Was Rage not popular enough for you? Why'd you break the band up?

That's just a few that were brewing in my head today.

Gimme some of yours please.

What not to buy a guy for Christmas

2007-11-23T13:00:00.000-08:00

I frequently complain about how quickly stores turn to their Christmas decorations, but I also think that once Thanksgiving is gone then its all fair game. So I was thinking about the lame-ass Christmas presents that I have received over the years and want to pass along some info to gift buyers before they make the same mistakes that many well-intentioned gift givers made in buying me gifts. I will also give you alternative ideas similar to the bad one. Please don't give me the "its the thought that counts you greedy bastard" argument because I am simply looking out for the gift giver so you don't look like a douche on Christmas Day.

1. Beers of the World Gift Pack: I know what people are thinking when they buy this for a guy they know. "They like beer and this has all kinds of unique beers from all over the world. Here's the thing about the beers that come in these packs. #1: They usually aren't that unique. #2 They are in that pack because they are not good enough to stand on their own. #3 There is ALWAYS one beer in that pack that is completely nasty. ALTERNATIVE: Find out what their favorite beer is and get them a 6-pack or case of that. Even better, go to your local BevMo and pick out some beers on your own that you think look interesting. My brother did this for me a few years ago and I drank every one of them and enjoyed them.

2. Clothes: Guys buy their own clothes and don't want to be told that they buy crappy or ugly clothes. So don't think that buying them a few nice things will make them happy. EXCEPTIONS: anything sports related - like the jersey of their favorite team. You may also get away with buying a funny t-shirt like this one. ALTERNATIVE: if you really want to buy clothes get them something useful like a hoodie, jacket, or sports-related item.

3. Dance lessons: I don't think I have to explain this, but if the guy doesn't like to dance then he probably doesn't want dance lessons. Most of you know why I am saying this.

4. That thing that you think will help him be a better person: OK, so this goes back to the dance lessons gift that I got one year, but it serves well as its own category. I know someone (can't remember who) that got a book from an aunt or something about how to find the perfect job. At the time he was always moving from shitty job to shitty job. What did this gift accomplish? It reminded him, on Christmas Day, that his life was going nowhere.
ALTERNATIVE: a bottle of gin because that will make him a better person and he can enjoy it.

5. Something that you think he will find useful: Chances are, if a guy needs something useful - like a buck knife, maglite, etc. - he probably already has it. ALTERNATIVE: Tools or gift card to buy tools. Guys always need tools.

The fact of the matter is guys are easy to buy gifts for. We like booze, action movies, adult cartoons (Family Guy, Simpsons, Aqua Teen), tools, ninjas, and things used to blow stuff up with.

Turkey wine!

2007-11-20T18:05:00.001-08:00

OK, there's no such thing as Turkey wine, but I want to (belatedly) make some Thanksgiving wine suggestions. However, let me state up front that the best wine to serve on Thanksgiving is the one that you like and can afford.

First, in the world of whites I would go towards reisling. Reisling is the grape that everyone loves, but nobody buys. Generally, for me, the dry reislings are the way to go with Turkey dinner. Last year I brought a bottle of Eroica (note: not Erotica). My mother-in-law doesn't like white wine too much but loved the stuff. Eroica is a combined effort from Washington mass-producer Chateau Ste. Michelle and German reisling demi-God Dr. Loosen. Its been a staple reisling for me for 3 years or so, but the price keeps going up - now about $20-24 per bottle. However, it is readily available in all grocery stores. Hogue makes a cheaper ($6-8) reisling that is less complex, but would work better on a budget. Both of these are sweeter. Since nobody buys reisling you can get some top-notch German stuff for cheap. Look for the word "Kabinet" on the label. Its the easiest name of dry reisling to remember. If you like sweeter, look for "spotlese" (pronounced shpot-lay-suh).

Red. Look, everyone says to drink Beaujolais Nouveau with Thanksgiving. Its OK. But the best-known brand (whose name I forget, but it comes in a super-colorful bottle) is not that good. This is one time where you can justify buying Pinot Noir (which has been overpriced since Sideways). Go with Oregon if you are going with Pinot Noir. On the other hand, I will be bringing a zinfandel with me to the Kimball household on Thanksgiving. I like the more bold flavor of zinfandel, but its spiciness can go well with the sides.

In the middle you could also go with a dry Rose. Its hard to tell what is dry and what is sweet unless it says so specifically on the label so your best luck is to hit the wine shop.

After dinner? I say go with Pimm's Cup. Kind of herbal, kind of sweet. 1 part Pimm's with 2 parts ginger ale or Sprite.

On the soapbox

2007-11-10T07:59:00.000-08:00

This is an issue that I think I have brought up before, but since it has been in the news a lot lately I want to say more. The U.S. has a new Attorney General, Michall Mukasey, who was approved by the Senate Judiciary Committee and the Senate as a whole despite his dodging the question about the U.S. using torture. Several Democrats, including California Senator Dianne Feinstein, voted in his favor.

First, why did he dodge the question? Simply put, he was stuck between a rock and a hard place. If he had answered that waterboarding was not torture, then he would likely not have been approved because he allowed torture. If he said that it was torture then he would have essentially been convicting the administration of torturing. So what did he answer? He said he did not know what waterboarding really was. Really? Really?!?!? I am a high school social studies teacher and I know what waterboarding is. He was a federal judge.

OK, so you may not really know what waterboarding is. I could explain my view of how it works, but I think this video may be better. In the video, Kaj Larsen - a former Navy Seal - agrees to go through a waterboarding demonstration. Now, this video is actually the second time this was done to him, the first time being part of his training. The video is about 10 minutes in its entirety and is sometimes split into two screens with one screen being the demo and the other interviews. Just a little warning. Its not really a pleasant thing to watch. There is nothing gory or bloody, but the people doing the demonstration are not being friendly with him.

Having seen that, here is my view on the issue of waterboarding specifically and torture in general. Waterboarding is torture. We will likely never get valuable information from torture that we could not get from other means of intelligence. We do not want the U.S. to be known worldwide as a country that tortures people.

First, I feel that the U.S. should not torture anybody for any reason. Waterboarding is, without a doubt, torture. If the video did not convince you of this, maybe this article will (check out the video as well). Daniel Levin, who at the time was acting Assistant Attorney General, volunteered to go through waterboarding to really see what it was like. His conclusion? Its torture. He said that even though he knew that no harm would come his way and that these were essentially his colleagues that he was very distressed. The result of his report? He was fired.

What could we possibly gain from using torture? At a Republican debate in May, the moderator proposed a hypothetical situation: there were several suicide attacks on U.S. cities and then some terrorists were captured off the coast of Florida who knew where further attacks would take place. He asked each candidate how aggressively they would interrogate. (In other words, would you torture?) This is the hypothetical situation that many in favor of using torture will turn to for their argument - we have to protect ourselves against terrorism at all costs. John McCain answered that hypothetical exactly as I would want a President to answer. "I, as the president of the United States, would take that responsibility... We could never gain as much from that torture as we lose in world opinion."

How is torture really considered an effective means of intelligence gathering? The hypothetical situation above is just that - hypothetical. It has not happened before and it will not likely happen ever. People, this is reality - not 24. The chances of that happening are probably the same as Jack Bauer jumping out of the TV to save us. If, by that point, we have not discovered the secret plans of the terrorists then we aren't going to figure it out by torturing them. In the CurrentTV video, Kaj says that, even knowing that it was a controlled situation and that he was in no danger, he would have said anything to get them to stop. I think this is what McCain was trying to say - what a torture victim says it not necessarily the truth. They are saying what you want to hear in order to get you to stop. For Christ's sake, in less than 30 seconds I can have a picture of my apartment taken from a satellite in outer space on my screen. We have that technology and we can't figure out terrorists without wiretapping our own citizens and torturing people? You've got to be kidding.

Finally, at some point we need to think about what our standing in the world is. Do we really want to be considered a country that violates human rights? I hope the answer is no. We are already hated all over the world for our policies - and rightfully so in my view. However, we could do a lot to improve that. Even facing dangers such as terrorism, we should take the moral high ground. This may take a great deal of sacrifice on our behalf, but what is ever worth getting without some sacrifice? We lost just over 2,700 on 9-11. We are approaching 4,000 dead in the war in Iraq. We are already making that sacrifice with nothing in return but the continuing death of our troops and the people of Iraq, the loss of credibility in the world, and over $400 billion of our dollars wasted at a time when they are losing value. Also consider this. Former Navy Seal instructor Malcolm Nance testified before Congress that, not only is waterboarding torture, but that if we subject our prisoners to torture we can be assured that our troops that are captured will find the same fate. Makes sense. If we say that it is OK to torture then we are saying that it is OK to torture our people as well.

I know that this is a long post and I thank you if you made it this far. If this issue bothers you as much as it bothers me then I hope you can write to your representatives (especially Feinstein) and make it clear to them that your vote depends on their decision to make human rights a priority again for the United States.

EToWJB Buying Guide

2007-11-06T12:42:00.000-08:00

There are a few things that I have bought in the last couple of months that I think people should know about and consider buying for their own use. Its mostly food.

Trader Joe's Thai Noodle Salad: comes with a spicy peanut sauce - so mother f'ing good.
Trader Joe's Flatiron steaks: lean and flavorful
Yoplait Light Key Lime Yogurt then add some walnuts
Trader Joe's marinated mahi mahi: meaty and flavorful
Kim Crawford Sauvignon Blanc
Saucony running shoes - I'm on my 3rd pair. Comfortable, supportive, long-lasting
Charmin wipes: OK, I know I'm going to get some shit for this, but they are awesome. They basically replace toilet paper. I first heard about them on SModcast and had their quality later verified by a reliable source. My ass has never been cleaner. Edit: SModcast is Kevin Smith's podcast. The same Kevin Smith that wrote and directed Clerks, Mallrats, etc. He uses the wipes. Is he gay? Hell no.
Barkeeper's Friend: cleans the hell out of stuff
unnamed stem cleaner: little brush for cleaning wine glasses (a.k.a. stems) that is made of a very unabsorbant foam so it doesn't load up on bacteris like sponges. Got mine at Sur Le Table.

more to come later?

Today's List - 11/3

2007-11-04T10:32:00.000-08:00

1. I hate it when people say that you get an extra hour of sleep after daylight savings time. Not me. Now, instead of waking up at 5:30 I wake up at 4:30 and can't go back to sleep. Plus, I'm going to get really tired at like 8:30 tonight.

2. Dan in Real Life is a real piece of crap movie. Amanda says that it is almost exactly like The Family Stone, which I have never seen because its a chick movie. Pete says that he saw it.

3. Despite criticism from many people all over the internet I still think Transformers the movie was awesome. Sure, they didn't need the love story. However, that chick is pretty hot so I went with it. The action and effects were what I was looking for and I got them. Plus, I love the voice of Optimus Prime and liked his little speech at the end. It brought me back to my childhood.

4. SModcast. Check it out. Seriously.

5. Check out Barack Obama on Ellen. I thought it was pretty funny. I can see him as president. A real person that doesn't answer his cell phone in the middle of press conferences or talk about 9/11 every 3 seconds. **cough***Giuliani***cough***douchebag***

6. How early is too early for Christmas decorations in public? Now is too early. I don't blame stores for selling the decorations this early. Some people need to plan their decorating schemes early. However, why are stores and other places skipping over the majority of fall? I think fall colors are the best colors (hence the fall colors at our wedding in July).

7. Rubio's is good. And they sell beer for $2.

8. Lost Coast Tangerine Wheat. Very tasty beer. It would have been good for the summer. Still good for the fall/winter.

9. Colts vs. Patriots today. I may just care about the NFL for a day.

Bill O'Reilly can...

2007-10-29T21:52:00.000-07:00

...well, he can eat the biggest, stinkiest, wettest piece of dog shit from a dog that has worms that crapped it out on raw chicken contaminated with salmonella.

Why the anger? Didn't we all already know that O'Reilly is a complete douche? Well, yeah. But he has really gone too far. I listen to his "Talking Points Memo" podcast on most mornings (it really gets the blood flowing) and pretty much every one blames the left - or the Secular Progressives (don't get me started on that bullshit nickname) for all of the problems of the world. However, this time he targeted me. No, he didn't mention me, but he did accuse public school teachers of "indoctrinating" their students to be SPs. He even read maybe one sentence from an e-mail that he supposedly got from a 15 year-old student.

At this point you may want your young children to stop reading.

Motherfucker, have you ever even set foot in a real classroom? Have you ever thought that only a completely brainwashed neo-con FoxNews watching 15 year-old would e-mail your splotchy ass? Most 15 year-olds are either playing Guitar Hero, trying to score some weed, or hanging out at some public place that will one day be replaced by a bar. Why don't you come up with some new fucking story to base your idiotic statement on other than the Boulder High School sex-ed assembly that you use twice a week? I know why. Because there are no other examples. Once again, you issue proclamations straight out of your ass that must be true only because you said them. News flash cocksucker: just because you say "fact" before something doesn't mean it actually is a fact. Example: "Fact: the sky is green" See?!? Ass-whore!?! The sky is generally blue unless you live in L.A. where its a brownish blue. In other words, until you actually present some sort of empirical evidence that even 1% of public school teachers are indoctrinating students I suggest you shut your jowly, wrinkled ass-face up - because only the mongloid rednecks that believe in your so-called culture war take your word as scripture. And those people already bought their ticket to hell. In short, choke on the fattest set of diseased rhino testicles and die.

Thanks for listening. Anger subsiding. Sorry about the language Mom. I learned it from Dad

Greatest. Video. Ever

2007-10-27T17:50:00.000-07:00

Awesome.

There is a story behind the kid and no, he's not retarded.

Today's List - 10/26

2007-10-26T11:27:00.000-07:00

1. There is a teacher that uses my room during my conference. She is horrible and her students do nothing. When you were in high school did you like the teacher that basically let you sit around and do nothing everyday? Not me. I liked doing stuff because I liked to learn and doing work often meant that I didn't have to interact with people.

2. The keys to getting your wine glasses clean is to use a small amount of soap, make sure you give special attention to the rim of the glass and the base, use hot water when you rinse, and to let them dry a little in the air and then finish them off with a dry soft towel. I only say this because watermarks and lipstick stains on wineglasses are a major pet peeve of mine.

3. Liverpool's aging defender Sami Hyppia has scored two goals in the last 5 days. Unfortunately they were in the wrong goal. He is a complete donkey and I am giving him pre-emptive blame for our impending disastrous loss to Arsenal (my brother's team) on Saturday.

4. Pete works too much.

5. We watched "Black Sheep" at Pete and Lauri's last week. Not the Chris Farley Black Sheep but the "horror" movie black sheep that I posted the trailer to a while back. It was awesome.

6. Trader Joe's Thai Noodle Salad. That's all I'm saying.

7. I think I've become allergic to the lactose free string cheese. It destroyed my stomach the last two days.

8. "I want Philly Jim!" The Office really needs to be 1/2 hour. It just works better.

9. After 3 seasons the Ghost Hunters may have captured something that looked sort of like a ghost.

10. Its basketball season already? and hockey? Does anyone actually care? Not me. I don't think I could name more than 3 active NHL players.

11. I've been recording the CNN "Planet in Peril" series. I guess I'm not convinced yet that we are killing ourselves.

Have a weekend.

Star Wars:The TV Show?

2007-10-17T11:06:00.000-07:00

George Lucas says that he is creating a TV show based on the Star Wars "franchise". He does say that there are no Skywalkers involved so it will not be based on the overall plot of the six movies.

Could these possibly be good? What could the plot be about? He said something about robots, but it may have been a joke.

I say that this will suck worse than Episode II.

Today's List - 10/16

2007-10-16T18:11:00.000-07:00

1. Meetings can eat my ass. I know it sounds like I am bragging, but I am usually the only one in my meetings that has any clue about what is going on. However, today I solved my problem. We had to break up in to small groups as each group would deal with one part of a report we have to create for accreditation. I volunteered to lead a group then quickly told the person in charge that I was taking my group to my room to work. My group was me. I did the work in 15 minutes and then did some planning before returning to drop off the group work. I am the best group ever.

2. One of my students told me today that his brain is like the bottle of water that I drink from in class all the time - by fifth period its running pretty low. I laughed.

3. Tasty combination: Thai food and Riesling.

4. I'm barely paying attention to the baseball playoffs, but I think that the Rockies winning 20 out of their last 21 games is pretty impressive.

5. Euro 2008 qualifying continues tomorrow with some pretty important games. England vs. Russia is at the top of most people's lists. I am still super impressed by the Scots (my paternal heritage). They lead their group over Italy and France. They could easily go through to the final stage as they get group B pushovers Georgia next. However, their final match with Italy could be important too.

6. The mother fucking Galaxy finally decided to start playing and have now won 5 in a row. If they win their next two games they will actually qualify for the playoffs. Thursday night is the last regular season home game and we may even get to see the $50 million pound English guy again.

7. "What is a Jim?"

8. Saw "Into the Wild" on Friday. Crazy shit. I knew the story going in, but have not read the book. I have to say that I ended up feeling different about the main character than I thought I would. Only major downfall of the movie: Eddie Vedder's dominance of the soundtrack. The first single is regularly rotated on KROQ and is maybe the worst song of the millennium next to everything from System of a Down.

9. Transformers is out on DVD. I really dug this movie, but I was very biased by my childhood love of the toys - second only to G.I. Joe. The Special Edition is in a case that is a transformer.

10. I watched some Bill O'Reilly yesterday. I know this is a very "the sky is blue" type statement, but that dude is way off base. The only thing that made him look good is that he had Ann Coulter on. Two things about her: she's a completely retarded bitch and she has a total Adam's Apple.

11. I'm not against Al Gore winning the Nobel Prize per se, but giving him the Nobel Peace Prize seems like a bit of a stretch. I absolutely understand the connection between the environment and peace (ask me in person and I will gladly explain), but he didn't really make that connection himself. That being said, I'm happy for the dude. But will he run?

12. The answers to the Brazilian names were: Luke Skywalker, Darth Vader, Obi Wan Kenobe, C3Po, and Boba Fett.

13. Don't forget to watch the cartoon from the previous post. I'm still laughing.

A little history lesson through cartoon

2007-10-13T08:13:00.001-07:00

Maybe the single greatest video I've ever seen. Caution: Not Safe for Work or Children. Maybe I should not say that so Andrew can get Greg to show it to his kids like the "Read a book" video.

Jincha

2007-10-12T17:38:00.001-07:00

Have you ever wondered what your name would be if you were a Brazilian soccer player? Well, check out this website too find out. I'm Jincha.

Bob Dylan = Dylando
George Bush = Georgildo
William Jennings Bryan = William Jennio
Charles Grodin = Groda
Barack Obama = Obamiano
Chuck Norris = Chimo
Pol Pot = Perto
Robot Chicken = Chickaca
Try to guess: Luka, Vadino, Obi Wisco, Pinhosa, Finhosa

Today's List - 10/11

2007-10-11T19:44:00.000-07:00

1. There's a Dollar Club on Lake and Mountain near where I play soccer. Do you know how much a box of cereal is there? 99-cents. Why? As the sign outside explains: 99% = 99-cents. Now I get it.

2. The Taco Bell one block from the Dollar Club is no longer there. It is now Taco Baja. From the outside it looks like they kept everything except the menu. There was a pizza place in Redlands that did the same thing - was Little Ceasars, now Antonious. The pizza at Antonious was cheaper and better.

3. People are assholes. Teachers much more so in many cases. I am moving between two classes this year. Most of the storage space is still occupied by the previous teacher who says that the teacher she is sharing with will give her no space, but she won't deal with the problem. I used simple economics to solve the problem. I dropped a note in her box saying that if the stuff is still in and on top of the closets on Monday I will put it in boxes out on the walkway. In economic terms that is called incentive.

4. I am going to rant some time in the next 3 days about Bush, spying, and torture. I'm too angry and busy to do it now.

5. I think Pete has given up on the prospects of our upcoming presidential election. I know he has officially declared the Republican candidates as useless. I agree. I'm sure my old friend Peter does not (I think he's still a Giuliani supporter for some reason).

6. Former Assistant U.S. Attorney John Atchison killed himself in jail. I don't have a problem with that. He flew to Michigan looking to have sex with a 5 year-old girl. (For a disturbing and yet pretty funny discussion of this story you should listen to SModcast.)

7. I love soccer, but there is a dark side to the game that you are all aware of: diving. Here's a recent example. This is a game between Italy's AC Milan and Scotland's Celtic. Milan were the heavy favorites but the goal that is celebrated put Celtic ahead. Watch what happens afterward.

A fan gets by security, runs by Milan keeper Dida, and gives him a little tickle. Dida starts to run after him, then falls on the ground later to be carried off on a stretcher with an icepack. Why? He hoped to get his team's loss thrown out because a fan caused him to leave. The real result. Celtic get fined a measly 25,000 pounds while Dida the Douche gets a two game suspension. The fan was also banned for life from all Celtic matches.

8. Did I mention that I have a very cute little niece? No? Well, here's a picture.

Enjoy the weekend

Today's Short List 10/2

2007-10-02T16:30:00.000-07:00

1. No word from Pete about adding stuff to Rat Race. I'll let you know when (if?) it happens. I even have an idea already.

2. What the hell is Leet? Some really nerdy ass shit if you ask me.

3. Is it seriously only Tuesday?

4. Liverpool continues its Champions League quest tomorrow against Marseilles.

5. Did you hear about Brittney Spears? I don't care either.

6. The new fake grass field and all-weather track at South Pas High look to be almost ready. I hope they let the public use it. Can a public school keep the public from using their facilities? I'm going with "no".

7. Dethklok?

8. I ventured into the belly of the beast on Sunday and somehow came out alive. In other words, I went to the Costco in Alhambra in the middle of the day. Let's just say that there is a certain type of person that frequents this establishment that tend to ignore the presence of other people when they park their cart in the middle of isles as they nibble on taquito samples and pretend that their kid is not running around screaming. I didn't use a cart so I think that's what got me out in less than 30 minutes.

9. Teacher meetings are horrible. I literally walked out of one today because it was so bad.

10. Which was better - Die Hard or Lethal Weapon?

Today's List - 9/30

2007-09-30T08:29:00.000-07:00

1. Went to a dinner last night with other people that watch/listen to Wine Library TV. I know how nerdy that sounds, but it was pretty fun, the food was awesome, and I got to try about 20 different wines (most from Spain). A local restaurant - Red, White, and Bluezz - hosted the event. Russ, the manager, set us up with a great 5-course meal and even opened up a 1963 Cockburn's Port. Check the place out.

2. The oldest chef at the restaurant last night was 23. No kidding. We met the executive chef and he may have been 22-23. I'm old.

3. Pete made me play Grand Theft Auto at his place the other night. I enjoyed beating people with a pimp cane. However, I shudder to think that my high school students play a game like this one.

4. I may be making guest appearances over at Life Outside the Rat Race.

5. The U.S. women took 3rd place at the World Cup. I have a few thoughts about this. First, their coach is an idiot. He changed keepers for the semi-final because he thought that the back-up would do better against Brazil's style. The main starter had 300+ consecutive scoreless minutes (3+ games). Second, I think the U.S. became the world power in women's soccer purely because we let them play. Our ladies kicked ass because they had superb technical skill. Now teams like Germany and Brazil not only show technical skill but incredible creativity. Until we stop playing boring technical soccer we will never again compete with teams like Brazil.

6. Newt Gingrich announced that he is not running for President. I'm not sure its really that final. On the other hand, I think he's probably scared of getting torn apart for his abrasive personality and past decisions.

7. I didn't get anywhere close to drunk last night. I tasted a lot of wine, but dumped a lot out as well. Still, red wine can really fuck your head the next morning. Today I was prepared. I bought some Vitamin Water yesterday. Its called "Revive" and it hints that its good for hangovers. My headache was gone pretty quick AND it tastes pretty good.

8. Visiting the niece today. Excited.

9. Fall weather has arrived. Early fall is my favorite time for weather. Lots of people look to venture back out into the world after the heat of the summer. Was it just me or was summer not too bad this year? In any case, today looks to be pretty nice too.

10. Just started listening to Smodcast, the podcast by Kevin Smith and Scott Mosier (writer/director and producer of Clerks et al). Its like listening to a more vulgar version of Pete and Randy Moe having a conversation. I laughed out loud many times and highly recommend it. They do swear a lot thought - so no kids.

11. Based on what I learned at my conference I can tell you that we don't need the stupid cowards that run our various governments to make positive changes in our environment. The market is doing more than they ever could. And by "the market" I mean you and me. When you call your power company and tell them that you want more renewable energy resources and are willing to pay a little extra to get it, they generally listen. The person we talked to at Pasadena Water and Power guessed that their energy would be coal-free by 2030. I know that sounds far away, but it really isn't. If you are interested to hear more about this ask me when you see me in person.

12. New "The Office" was pretty funny. Excited about the new season.

Today's List - 9/26

2007-09-26T18:24:00.000-07:00

1. Paige is at home. Exciting times - except maybe for the dogs.

2. BevMo is doing their 5-cent sale. I think I've moved on from my anger at them in order to save my wallet. Amanda hasn't figured out yet that I bought 12 bottles yesterday. I am prepared to make an agreement that I won't buy anymore wine until these are done. On the other hand, I payed about $80 for the 12. You buy one for full price and get the second of the same bottle for 5-cents.

3. Enjoyed the hell out of my conference. Went to a water-treatment plant here in Pasadena and to the Power Plant as well. Up to this point my entire knowledge of the world of power production was based on Springfield Nuclear Power Plant.

4. Debates are on again tonight. Same shit as last time basically except they are getting a little more snippy.

5. I mentioned in a previous post that my aunt is doing a lot of work for a charity that does art therapy for children victims of Katrina. They were featured in a New York Times article recently.

6. Galaxy still have a chance after a win this last weekend. Not much of a chance, but a chance nonetheless.

7. Water trivia: If you were to fill the Rose Bowl with water, then pour in 1 and 1/3 cups of a contaminant, Pasadena Water could detect it. The water is pretty clean.

8. Family Guy: Star Wars was really funny. Robot Chicken's version was probably more funny.

9. I'm still deciding between Mac and PC. I think I'm leaning towards Mac. I feel kind of dirty doing it though.

10. Amanda found lactose-free string cheese. I'm in heaven.

11. Vegetarians don't annoy me. Vegetarians that constantly remind me that they are vegetarians do. I don't tell you 10 times every meal that I eat meat.

12. New Office tomorrow.

Today's List - 9/21

2007-09-21T18:22:00.001-07:00

1. My little niece is still in the hospital. She's OK, but is having trouble eating. She's the only Austin with that problem. Maybe they need to throw a little ranch in that bottle or deep fry it.

2. That whole "Jena 6" thing is driving me nuts. Lots of stupid shit said by lots of stupid people. My favorite was a lady who said she didn't want the rest of America thinking that Jena was just another racist Southern town. Um, didn't your high school have a tree that only white students could sit under? Didn't people later hang nooses in that tree? Yeah, the rest of us are really judging you unfairly.

3. I think Hillary Clinton has the best chance of winning the Democratic nomination, but I think Obama has the best chance to beat the Republicans in the presidential election.

4. U.S. women in the quarters at the Women's World Cup. That's pretty standard. England tomorrow morning.

5. Still haven't posted tasting notes from the Zaca Mesa dinner. I was pretty hammered though.

6. I've been trying to read Bonfire of the Vanities and its slow going. Tom Wolfe describes stuff in too much detail. I may give up soon. I rarely put a book down without finishing it.

7. Amanda thinks they should make a movie based on the Legend of Zelda video games. She also does a little sword-stabbing motion and says "jab-jab" when she makes this suggestion.

8. If I was married to Brittney Spears and she had two of my kids and looked the way she does now after giving birth to those kids I would be pretty stoked. I think people need to give her a break. She's still stupid as hell though.

9. Saw "Death at a Funeral" the other night. So funny. And lots of British people including the guy that played Spud in Trainspotting.

10. The Galaxy are fucking horrible. I'm still going to games though.

11. Going to a conference this weekend about teaching Economics while using the environment. It should be exciting. And its in Pasadena.

12. Sunday is the start of fall. My sweat glands are looking forward to some time off.

13. Deep fried goat cheese is awesome - that's no joke.

14. I need a new desktop computer. The one I have is dying. Its a PC and Amanda's laptop is a PC. I'm thinking about a Mac. What do you think. I pretty much need it for typing, internet (especially soccer highlights), iTunes, downloading pictures, and playing FIFA.

15. We had a lockdown for almost four hours yesterday because some kids called in a bomb threat. They said they were some other kid that they didn't like. There were three instances where a student pissed in a bucket in a classroom. I honor those three kids.

Enjoy the weekend

Uncle Jeff

2007-09-15T12:16:00.001-07:00

This little cutie is my new niece Paige Elizabeth. She was born yesterday morning. Everything went as smooth as planned. She was 5 weeks early so there were some minor complications, but nothing serious.

My brother was the only one that got to hold her yesterday because she's in the NICU for a bit. However, Aimee finally got to see and hold her this morning. My brother couldn't see me since I was peeking through the blinds when he was holding her, but I've never seen him more happy - even when the U.S. beat Mexico in the World Cup.

In any case, I am still weirded out a bit that my brother has a daughter, but I am very excited and will be spoiling the crap out of her because I won't have to deal with it. She's pretty long for 5 weeks early so I'm thinking she'll end up being a target forward or center back. Aimee has a pretty solid left leg so Paige could be very valuable to any soccer team.

Today's List - 9/14

2007-09-13T17:38:00.000-07:00

1. Baby countdown: 14 hours. They moved it way up after some mild "complications". They're cutting little Paige out at 7:30am tomorrow. Bought some cigars and prosecco (sparkling wine). I'm a little excited.

2. U.S. got ripped off against Brazil. This was the same ref that screwed over Canada in the Gold Cup. Game ended 4-2 in favor of Brazil, but reality says 3-3 should have been the final.

3. Saddest episode of Meerkat Manor last week. Two cubs were born. One had a deformed leg so it was hard for him to even get out of the burrow, let alone keep up with the gang. Then they got left out in the open and the non-deformed one got picked up by a hawk. Then, as food became more scarce, the deformed one was left behind to die alone since they couldn't find enough food. The show faded as you could hear his little yelps for help. Heartbreaking

4. Galaxy - ChivasUSA tonight. I'll be watching it taped.

5. Got a wine cooler today. Not like Bartles & James. A fridge made specially for storing wine at a safe temperature. Normally in the area of $450, I got this one for $139 because I drove to their factory in Compton and picked it from the "dented and scratched" selection. It is not dented, but has a few scratches, but those were mostly covered by switching the handle to the other side. This was essentially a birthday gift from my mother.

6. Wine dinner tonight. Super excited. I'll give a re-cap after the whole baby thing is done.

7. I'm tired of shaving, but I don't want to grow a beard.

8. Only three entries in the Emily caption contest. I call weak sauce. There are at least 15 unique visitors to this site every day. Let's be creative. Prize to the winner. Even my cousin entered and he lives in Texas and only met Emily once at our wedding.

9. Steve McQueen says "pppppffffft.. jog on!"

READ A BOOK!

2007-09-10T19:56:00.000-07:00

Before you watch this and call me a racist, please realize its from BET. And its funny.

Today's Short List - 9/10

2007-09-10T18:53:00.001-07:00

1. I wish I could complain about a full week of work. However, thanks to the Jewish employees of LAUSD I get Thursday off.

2. I was kind of sad that Pavarotti died. I don't listen to his music, but I know 3 things about him: (1) He was a good singer - really freakin' good (2) He did a song with U2 called Miss Sarajevo which is pretty good and on my iPod (3) He sang "Nessun Dorma" at the opening of World Cup 1990 in Italy (also on my iPod.

3. I've got a new drink in my repertoire. Pimm's Cup No.1. Its apparently a gin-based liquor, but its semi-sweet with an herbal/citrus type flavor. Mixed with Sprite Zero or ginger ale and its super tasty.

4. So Fred Thompson is running officially. I give him a less than 1% chance of winning. Entered too late. Too few events. Those events are too focused on raising money - not on the people.

5. I still support Obama despite his partnership with the devil - I mean Oprah.

6. If I had to vote for a Republican I think it would be Mike Huckabee. He was on NPR's Wait Wait Don't Tell Me this past weekend and he seemed really down to Earth and funny. I don't agree with his conservative politics, but I'd almost be willing to trade that to have a normal president. Please note: I am not voting Republican in 2008.

7. They officially released the title of the new Indiana Jones movie. Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. Not sure what I think of that.

8. Did you know that it is really not safe to recline in the passenger seat of a moving car. Neither did I. However, Slate's Emily Bazelon had a little first-hand experience with this piece of safety trivia. (By the way, I have a little crush on Emily Bazelon because I think she has a nice voice and provides a very reasonable viewpoint of the Slate "Political Gabfest" podcast.)

9. Don't forget to enter the "What did Emily say?" caption contest. I swear she won't get mad at you.

Camping 2007

2007-09-08T13:45:00.000-07:00

First, a caption contest. What is Emily saying in this picture? Best entry gets a prize. (I don't know the true answer)

I actually took around 50 pictures, but these are the cream of the crop. Note: At no time in any of my pics do you see all three DeClerk brother. Coincidence? Hmmm...

The bluffs. How nobody has fallen off that cliff in a drunken stupor in these many years is beyond me.
AAAAWWWW!!! Look how cute they are. Just after I took this picture they started making out. Gross. My only question is: Why is Lauri drinking water instead of Bud Light?

Some clouds make nice sunsets...

...other clouds bring an assload of rain and lightning. If there were ever clouds that signaled the coming of the apocalypse it was these clouds.

About 20 minutes after taking these pictures we were in our various cars waiting out the storm. Thanks again to Tim and Lauri for risking their lives to get us beer.

Lauri was the first victim of the mud. Here's her footprint. Unfortunately, there were no pictures of Rhiannon's (sp?) spill because it sounded like it was much better (worse from her viewpoint) than Lauri's "graceful genuflect".

I didn't want to alarm anybody at the time, but I saw a strange monster in the waves one night at the tracks. I first spotted him wrestling with some seaweed and then swimming in the surf. He never came out of the water, which is good because I saw Pete standing on the beach shortly after taking this picture.

Through rain, lightning, ocean monsters, ice shortages and intense hangovers, one thing remained constant: SLINGBALL.

Once again, nobody got hit by a train, although one of Tom's towels was certainly worse for wear after its run-in with Amtrak.

Again, there may be a prize for the best caption so leave your Emily caption in the comments section. You may enter as many times as you wish.

Today's List - 9/8

2007-09-08T12:57:00.000-07:00

1. School started again Wednesday. Two periods of World History and two periods of American Government (which turns to Economics next semester). It looks like a good bunch of kids.

2. I have 4 sets of students with the same first and last names in the same class. For example, in one class I have two kids named Hugo Garcia. I also have identical twin brothers together in a class.

3. Award for the most unique name this year: a girl named Clad.

4. If you are one of those people that goes to the gym: please bring a towel with you and wipe off the machines when you are done. I don't want to deal with your sweat.

5. Countdown to new niece: 26 days.

6. I swear that I am going to put up some camping pictures at some point.

7. Did you see Jerry Lewis call someone an "illiterate fag" during his telethon? No, you can check it out here.

8. Watched "Hot Fuzz" last night. Pretty funny and worth a rent or a Netflix. Lots of fake blood. Incidentally, I had to watch the second half this morning since I went to bed on a Friday night at 9:30. Its too bad we didn't think to arrange to meet some friends for drinks instead - oh well. (That's a jab directed at two people who I know will read this).

9. I recently read two books by Dean Koontz. The first was "Odd Thomas" and then the second in that series "Forever Odd". The first one was a good read during camping. Interesting story with reasonably good writing. The second was not-so-good. Let's just say that an animal enters the story at some point and its completely ridiculous.

The List - 9/3

2007-09-03T20:16:00.000-07:00

1. Camping was fun. We were caught in a beast of a thunderstorm that forced us into our cars for maybe 30-40 minutes. OK, it was the Rangers that forced us into our cars, not the storm. We were in the middle of the first game of slingball when they suggested that we find refuge in the cars. Tim, giving maybe the best quote of camping, says "Does he know we are in a tournament?"

2. I'm re-stating my previous belief that I am old. I needed to be in bed by 10:00 or so most nights during camping and woke up with back stiffness each morning.

3. Our new camping stove and percolator worked brilliantly.

4. Students show up Wednesday and its back to the grindstone. I try to make it sound bad so I can get sympathy, but #1: I love my job and #2: I shouldn't complain about actually having to work for the first time in 6 weeks.

5. For me, the ideal temperature for a swimming pool is between 72-76 degrees.

6. I made a list of things to do this summer and only completed about 1/2 of the items.

7. Liverpool is in first place and would look even better if we weren't completely fucked by the referee in the Chelsea game. He admitted his mistakes.

8. David Beckham looks to be done for the season. This may surprise you, but I am fine with that. Our season is shot and I would like him to be back to 100% by next season.

9. I hate to admit this, but I am a Michigan fan. Big loss Saturday to Appalachian State. Never heard of them? That's because they are Div. I-AA (now called something else). However, they are probably the best I-AA team, so there's that.

10. 20 more days until a new "The Office".

11. No more new Entourage until probably June I'm guessing. I was a little disappointed with this season until last night when they had topless chicks snorting cocaine off of each other's boobs. Its not the partial nudity that made up for a mediocre season, but all of the factors put together. Now I am only slightly disappointed.

12. I've been listening to a lot of my old punk and ska CDs again since I loaded them onto my iPod. I miss that stuff. Guttermouth, Lagwagon, Mr. T Experience, The Toasters, Specials, etc.

13. We were completely bombarded by flies last night in the apartment. Our theory is that the next door neighbors leave out a lot of nasty trash and when we made steak the flies came running. Final body count was about 30 dead flies in about 45 minutes. Most squished against various windows. One was mashed into the curtain - not pretty. We won in the end.

14. Man, its hotter than two hamsters having sex in a wool sock these days. (I got that one from another teacher)

The Office returns Sep. 27

2007-08-31T06:50:00.000-07:00

Today's Short List - 8/24

2007-08-24T07:36:00.000-07:00

1. Galaxy got owned last night. Completely ruined my birthday. 3-0 and those see-you-next-Tuesdays celebrated right in our face.

2. I saw another man's hairy ass last night. It was disturbing. It was a Chivas fan mooning us.

3. Highlight of the match. Riot Squad gathered by the tennis courts to pick up sombreros painted with the Riot Squad logo and followed a full mariachi band into our section. They played our chants and stayed in the section the whole time. We passed a sombrero and bought them beers. It was fun as hell. People's faces were priceless when they saw the procession.

4. Did you see that Baltimore lost 30-3 the other day. Not the Ravens, but the Orioles. The first time in the modern era of baseball (since 1900) that a team scored 30 runs.

5. I'm hungry and we're going camping.

Today's List - 8/23

2007-08-23T08:14:00.000-07:00

1. I am officially old. Please use a larger font when typing comments.

2. Got a couple of nice gifts last night at dinner. In-laws got me a dinner at Marston's, but its not a normal dinner - its called a winemakers dinner. Along with a 5-course meal I (and a yet undetermined guest) will be sampling 5 wines from Zaca Mesa, a good winery from the Los Olivos area. Also got a very nice bottle of wine that you can find in my "wine cellar" at corkd.com (see link in sidebar. I have nice in-laws. I don't think most people can say that.

3. Buffets kick ass. We went to the Atheneum at CalTech last night for dinner. It was buffet night. Where else but a buffet can you have prime rib, swordfish, champagne chicken, spicy shrimp rolls, au gratin potatoes, and ratatouille all on one plate.

4. Galaxy vs. ChivasUSA is nationally televised tonight on ESPN. I'm not saying much more, but the supporter's group that I sit with (L.A. Riot Squad) always brings the heat for Chivas. The word "historical" has been used in reference to our planned mischief tonight. Check it out.

5. There are several situations in which I could spend an infinite amount of money: at a good wine shop, a bookstore, Target, a stationary store with nice pens, etc. Yesterday I re-discovered an old one: camping gear. I could buy camping gear all day. We got a new tent last year. Its pretty big, but we are hoping that it will hold our family one day. Yesterday we got a camp stove, a new big cooler with wheels, and a camping coffee percolator pot. There's about a million other things that I could buy.

6. Costco is currently selling a 160-quart ice-chest. Its a beast. I think a small person could sleep in there. You may think your cooler is big - well, its not. This one is.

7. I'm reading Tom Wolfe's Bonfire of the Vanities. I don't think I like it much, but I can't stop reading a book in the middle. Except the last book that Amanda recommended to me, but I stopped reading that because it was a very confusing sci-fi type book.

8. Happy early birthday to Pete. I think his is the 25th? Happy birthday also to my brother and to my grandmother. We all share the same birthday. Also, happy birthday to Kobe Bryant, Julio Franco, Keith Moon, and Shelley Long. I would say happy birthday to River Phoenix, but he's dead.

9. Want to hear something weird. I share a birthday with River Phoenix and my wife shares a birthday with Joaquin Phoenix. Joaquin Phoenix was in "To Die For" with Matt Dillon and Matt Dillon was in "Loverboy" with... Kevin Bacon. So there you go.

10. You should see the pen my wife got me for my birthday. It dominates all other pens.

Today's List - 8/21

2007-08-21T21:58:00.000-07:00

1. If you want to see the wines that I am currently holding (waiting for consumption) you can go to this link. The link has a permanent home in the "Links" section in the sidebar. I think its a pretty good collection for someone who is far from rich.

2. There are only 3 of those wines that are staying in my possession for the long haul. Anytime you come by the apartment looking for a nice glass of wine I am likely going to take you up on the offer. Most wines don't age that well. I think there are several that I could hold for 5-7 years, but I would rather drink them.

3. Tomorrow is my last day in my 20s. I feel like I should do something that you should really only do while in your 20s. Any ideas?

4. Stamps. We have a buttload of stamps, none of which are enough to send a letter or bill. At this point I am sending out bills and stuff with more than 70 cents worth of stamps. Am I lazy or is it really not worth going to the Post Office to load up on 3-6 cent stamps.

5. Libraries are weird places. They let you borrow books for free. That's very trusting of them.

6. Summer has killed my ability to listen to Podcasts. I am way behind without the 30-minute drive to and from work.

7. Did you know that the NFL is in the middle of pre-season. I just figured that out yesterday. The only thing more boring than a 3+ hour NFL regular season game is a 3+ hour preseason game. Well, that and any NBA game. Basketball puts me to sleep.

Based on the short list you can probably tell that my day was relatively uneventful.