Hooray for Bollywood!

I know that I've posted a lot of videos lately, which probably makes my blog load really slow for some people, but this one is WAY too awesome to ignore.

Clinton strikes back

If you didn't see Clinton rip FoxNews's Chris Wallace a new anus, you need to see it.



Now, you need to see this clip from Keith Olberman's show the next day. Great Stuff.

I'm really glad to see him fighting back. Especially since he was there in an effort to promote the Clinton Global Initiative, an effort to raise money to combat poverty, climate change, world health, and religious/ethnic conflicts.

Democracy Inaction

Remember a few weeks ago when I was in an uproar about the secret hold on the bill to create a searchable database of spending? Well, once it was revealed that it was spendaholic Ted Stevens from Alaska, the bill was passed and Bush signed it into law today with bloggers present.

This goes to show 3 things: Liberals and Conservatives can get along, Ted Stevens is a twat, and people still have power in our country when they want to use it.

Jesus Christ that's a good stout!

Many years ago, probably while under the influence of many pints, I came up with an idea for a bar. At the time, I was living in Redlands. A group of people from one of the many non-denominational churches in town had leased space in a building that was previously used by an unsuccessful bar. (Side note: the owner told me that he had bought the bar itself from a Red Lobster that wasn't doing well, which I think is a bad omen.) In any case, these church people used the space to open a Christian coffee shop, called "The Upper Room", complete with drinks like "Sabbath Sunrise" and a "Moses Mocha." They kept all of the furniture and pool tables from the bar, so there was some pretty loungy stuff in there. (Side Note again: Isn't pool a tool of the devil according to some? Like in Music Man - "Oh, we've got trouble. With a capital T that rhymes with P and that stands for pool") I actually went there one time with the intention of grading papers, which was easy to do at this place since it was pretty much empty all of the time.

Oh yeah, my idea. So my idea was to create a Christian bar. As my buddy Andrew and I drank too many overpriced pints in what we now call the Wanker Pub, we came up with names of the beers that we would brew and serve on site:

Pontious Porter - "It'll send you to the cross"
You're going to Ale (like you're going to hell)
Jesus Christ! that's a good Stout
Lazarus Lager - "Brings back the dead"
St. Peter Pils

Last night, also over a few pints, Amanda decided we could serve Harp and Guinness, although she said that we should call it "Guinnessing a song to the Lord" (like Gonna sing...).

I'm trying to think of more.

And I'm sure this would offend nobody.

Goal of the year - sort of

Maybe the greatest and yet worst goal I have ever seen. I really couldn't believe it when I heard about it



In case you missed it, the player took a shot that went into the side of the net - not a goal. The ball boy walks over, kicks it in, and the ref counts the goal. From what I hear, the assistant on the sideline called it in. Only in Brazil.

No nominees...just a douchebag

I'm not breaking any news by talking about the tragic death of Steve "The Croc Hunter" Irwin, but I am disgusted at the comments made by perennial assholes PETA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals). In their statement they call him a "cheap reality star" and that his death was "no shock at all". I can sort of agree on the second point, but this guy did a lot to educate people about dangerous animals and to give those animals some respect. To say that his career was based on harassing animals is complete bullshit. To say that after an accidental death is even worse. In PETA's honor I will dine on the flesh of an animal tonight.

Douchebag of the Week - 9/3/06

After dropping mad douchebags for a couple of days, I took a break for no particular reason. The douchebags are back, and although some of them are a little old, they are all very douchy.

First, the nominees:

All of us: For paying attention to the 927 million hours of news about the guy that admitted to killing JonBenet Ramsey only to find out that he didn't do it. We suck. (By the way, I am excluded from this nomination because I gave this story no more than 10 minutes of my life).

Americans: So this guy was forced to change his shirt before boarding a JetBlue flight from New York to California because it said "we will not be silent" in English and Arab. Here's a new word for these people: xenophobia. Look it up. It pairs well with "Islamofascist". Click here to read his story.

Nerdy Korean guy: In one of those "he probably needed to die" cases, this unnamed nerd collapsed and died while playing video games - after only 50 straight hours. I don't think there is anything I can do for 50 straight hours except breathe.

Anyone who buys this. No explanation needed really.

Virgin Atlantic Airlines: I went to Italy during college. The 9-hour flight killed me. Although on the way back I drank a bunch of shitty Japanese beer so I wasn't so bothered. These people were on the plane for 7 hours and never actually left the airport. Somehow they were able to get police on board the plane to prevent passengers from rioting, but couldn't get the passengers off of the plane. This was not a case of terrorism either. They basically had to wait for all of the passengers to board, then for a repair, then a spare part, then they spotted a bad tire, and finally aborted the flight after the first passengers had been on the plane for 8 hours. No food, and only 2 drink services. Note to self: don't fly Virgin Atlantic.

Madin Azad Amin: Amin told airline security that the strange-looking device in his bag was a bomb when it wasn't. Why? His mother was next to him and it was actually a penis pump. D'oh.

Alexandria Carasia: So this old lady gets mad at the neighbors because she says that their cat is using her yard as a litterbox. The neighbors end up sending their cat to family because of the problem. Although its a pretty dick move, its not enough to earn douchebag nominee status. Maybe you're thinking she tracked down the cat and cooked it or beheaded it and threw the head in their yard, but its WAY better than that. The neighbor kid, while holding his dog in his own front yard, meowed when she walked by. So the old bat called the police and the kid was charged with misdemeanor harassment. C'mon, she deserved it.

Joseph Biden: In the earliest attempts at getting a presidential nomination, Biden wanted to be "South-friendly." So he bragged that his state, Delaware, was actually a slave state. Don't believe me? Watch the video in the link.

American Family Association: These guys should be part of the name of this award since they have won it before and will likely compete with Pat Robertson for the number of victories. Their latest "call to action" is against CBS for airing a 9/11 documentary that contains swearing. Why does it have this profanity? Because it uses the same language that was used by the firefighters in the towers as they were trying to save people - a little something called historical integrity. I'm not sure what American families are part of this association, but its not mine and they are probably all shitty families.

And the winners (that's right, I could not decide between these two - you'll see why):

Ted Stevens: In my last post I talked about the "secret hold" being placed on the bill that would create a database of federal "pork barrel" spending. I suspected that it was Ted Stevens and it turns out I was right (for once - my record was tarnished by my World Cup predictions). Why did he place the hold? According to him, he needed to do a cost-benefit analysis. The database would have cost $15 million. Stevens once helped pass spending that gave $223 million to build a bridge in Alaska joining a town of 50 to a "city" of about 8,000. I think the only analysis going on was analyzing how fucked he is going to be once people see how much pork he produces.

Bus driver: So this guy (I assume) tells the black students to go to the back of the school bus because the front is for whites. No, I'm not going back to the 50s or 60s for this winner. This happened last month in Shreveport. If you've read this blog for a while you've heard me talk about the South before, and I'll repeat it: there is nothing good about the South. Why are they still a part of our country? (If you're from the South, I'm just messing around. I love the South. So don't send a lynch mob or the Klan after me).