But in the unlikely story that is America, there has never been anything false about hope

Saturday, September 23, 2006

Jesus Christ that's a good stout!

Many years ago, probably while under the influence of many pints, I came up with an idea for a bar. At the time, I was living in Redlands. A group of people from one of the many non-denominational churches in town had leased space in a building that was previously used by an unsuccessful bar. (Side note: the owner told me that he had bought the bar itself from a Red Lobster that wasn't doing well, which I think is a bad omen.) In any case, these church people used the space to open a Christian coffee shop, called "The Upper Room", complete with drinks like "Sabbath Sunrise" and a "Moses Mocha." They kept all of the furniture and pool tables from the bar, so there was some pretty loungy stuff in there. (Side Note again: Isn't pool a tool of the devil according to some? Like in Music Man - "Oh, we've got trouble. With a capital T that rhymes with P and that stands for pool") I actually went there one time with the intention of grading papers, which was easy to do at this place since it was pretty much empty all of the time.

Oh yeah, my idea. So my idea was to create a Christian bar. As my buddy Andrew and I drank too many overpriced pints in what we now call the Wanker Pub, we came up with names of the beers that we would brew and serve on site:

Pontious Porter - "It'll send you to the cross"
You're going to Ale (like you're going to hell)
Jesus Christ! that's a good Stout
Lazarus Lager - "Brings back the dead"
St. Peter Pils

Last night, also over a few pints, Amanda decided we could serve Harp and Guinness, although she said that we should call it "Guinnessing a song to the Lord" (like Gonna sing...).

I'm trying to think of more.

And I'm sure this would offend nobody.

6 comments:

Pete said...

I must say....Pure Genius

Charles Sumner said...

I must say it make sme thristy.

Pete said...

How about a Moses Martini-So dry you'll think you just spent 40 years wandering the desert.

Jeff said...

I thought about offering a "Virgin Mary" which would basically be a no-booze bloody mary as well as a Mary Magdalene, which is a real bloody mary. Then I thought of this one - Barrabus(sp?) Bock "The one the crowds call for"

Pete said...

4 Horsemen Hefewiezen "The beer to end all beers"

Or

Behold the Pale White Horse Ale "and the man who sat on him was drunk"

Unknown said...

Balaam's Bitter - it'll knock you off your ass.

www.petetheelder.com

(glad to see you can now use google accounts)