More than just a bad haircut

In case you haven't heard, North Korea claims that it detonated some nukes the other day. Now, I'm not much for conspiracy theory, but I don't think its too far-fetched to guess that North Korea actually does not have any nukes. I got this idea from listening to an NPR podcast the other day. (This might be a link to the story). The question was posed as to how you can check the validity of their claims without actually entering North Korea (which Americans can't do really - well, government people at least). The answer was that you can test two ways: seismographic testing from the time of the explosion and checking for radioactivity in the air around North Korea. You can get these samples by flying in international airspace around the border of North Korea.

Now, seismic tests aren't that reliable. As Japan found out, their detectors can give a nuke warning when there is an earthquake. In the NPR story, they said that you could actually use TNT to simulate the seismic waves created by a nuke detonated underground. You may say "yeah, but nukes are huge so you could tell the difference". To that I say this: Put your face into a pillow and yell. Its a little muffled right? Couldn't you re-produce a sound of the same volume by yelling softer without the pillow? So there you go. Maybe their regular bomb was not as far underground as a nuke would have been.

I know some of you may think I'm crazy, but stick with me. Today, the AP puts out a story that these airplane tests that I mentioned picked up no radioactivity. The Chinese didn't find any either. Hmmmm... not so crazy now am I?

The next logical question is "Why would North Korea want people to think that they have nukes when they don't?" I think there are several answers to that question. #1: Don't think logical. This is Kim Jong-Il we're talking about. He's nuts. Didn't you see Team America: World Police? #2: If the U.S. and other concerned parties give North Korea some incentives (like money or food or DVDs of American Idol or something) then North Korea gets something for nothing. #3: When you have nukes, or if people think you do, you get to pretend that people care about your country. North Korea wants to be important, therefore it needs people to think that they have nukes. #4: It certainly helps Republicans if we are all scared of another country since the terrorists seem to be taking a break a bit (except in Iraq). Plus, it just helps Bush's argument that North Korea is part of his "Axis of Evil."

In any case, that's where I stand right now. I think we definitely need more proof that they have these nukes. Maybe we should say "OK, prove it Kim Jong-Il. If you really have nukes, nuke some place we don't care about - like Canada or some island out in the pacific. Those islands are probably still glowing after all the nukes we tested out there back in the 50s and 60s." Then he'll have to put up or shut up.