Tina Fey as Sarah Palin
We all knew it would be awesome. Check it out.
But in the unlikely story that is America, there has never been anything false about hope
We all knew it would be awesome. Check it out.
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Jeff
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9:16 PM
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innocent bystanders
First, I enjoyed these Obama pics. Amanda actually had the idea for the first one early in the primaries. Yes, they are corny, but I like them.

Second, in case you wanted some real numbers on comparing the Obama tax plan with the McCain tax plan, then check out this article. It has this easy-to-read graph. The short version is rich people aren't going to benefit from Obama, but how many of them were going to vote Democrat anyways?
Finally, I can't believe the hub-bub over the pig/lipstick comment. How often does McCain want to show his desperation?
Remember to vote.
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Jeff
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7:50 PM
1 innocent bystanders
OK, so Amanda and I were watching McCain give his acceptance/attack/no details speech the other night and she asked what the building in the picture behind him was. I said that I thought it was one of his seven giant houses. Here's the picture:
They did a similar thing with Giuliani having the New York skyline behind him. I thought that it was weird that they would put this giant mansion behind him when they have been trying to paint Obama as the elitist. However, once again I was wrong. It was supposed to be Walter Reed Medical Center. I say "supposed to be" because it was actually Walter Reed Middle School in North Hollywood. Good job.
Numbers. I also saw an article that talks about voter registration numbers in the last 3-8 months. In all but one of the states that he could find information for, the Democrats got more new registrants than the Republicans. In some cases, it was WAY more. The only state with more new Republicans? Alaska. The New York Times confirms this trend going back a few years.
John McCain likes women enough to marry one and to choose one as his running mate, but not enough to vote for equal-pay legislation. Let me explain. I was outraged earlier this year by the Supreme Court's decision in the case of Ledbetter vs. Goodyear in which 5 of the 9 justices ruled against Lilly Ledbetter. She was suing Goodyear Tire Company because she found out that for 19 years they had paid her significantly less then every other person in her position - she was the only female. Although she was awarded $3 million in the original lawsuit, Goodyear won on appeal because she sued after the 180-day waiting period. Here's the deal: you have to sue within 180 days of the specific act of discrimination. According to the law, she could have sued within 180 days of every paycheck. However, she didn't find out within that 180-day period. So the bastards at Goodyear win. And McCain doesn't want to fix it. He didn't even show up to vote. The bill passed the House, but Republicans in the Senate vowed to filibuster and the Democrats didn't have enough votes to stop them. McCain has stated that he would have voted against the bill.
What do Franki Valli, Orleans, Heart, Jackson Browne, and Van Halen all have in common? John McCain is illegally using their music during campaign events and has been asked to stop.
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Jeff
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10:18 AM
1 innocent bystanders
I feel like I've had a lot of thoughts about the presidential race lately, so I'm going to regularly post them. Here are some for tonight:
- 134 U.S. troops stationed abroad have donated a total of $60, 642 to the Obama campaign. 26 have donated a total of $10,665 to McCain. Not huge numbers considering the $50 million plus Obama has pulled in each of the last couple of months, but those are some huge differences. Oh, and Ron Paul got over $45,000 from just short of 100 troops.
- 2,380 delegates at the RNC. 36 African-Americans (1.5%) The Democrats had 24.5% African-American delegates. How can they still keep a straight face when they call themselves the "Party of Lincoln"?
- I was so (pardon the language) mother-fucking angry last night watching the parade of attacks.
- I take back the mean things I've said about Cindy "dead behind the eyes" McCain. She seems OK. However, estimates say that her outfit last night at the RNC cost over $300,000 - including 3 carat diamond earrings. Obama's the elitist?
- I you haven't seen Jon Stewart talking about Sarah Palin you need to. Its about the funniest thing I've seen all week. Here it is:
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Jeff
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9:25 PM
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innocent bystanders
I got more than a little angry tonight listening to Republicans. Mostly Giuliani. However, I want to throw two quotes out there for you to think about in light of recent hot topics in the presidential race.
"Drill baby drill" - Rudy Giuliani, prompted by chants at the RNC convention tonight.
"Why is Chelsea Clinton so ugly? Because Janet Reno is her father." John McCain in 1998 about a then 17 year-old Chelsea Clinton.
Do I need to say anything else?
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Jeff
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9:22 PM
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innocent bystanders
Where does the time go? I'm not going to say that I feel guilty for not posting. It probably means that I have a life. Here are some tidbits about said life:
We had a movie night at Pete and Lauri's to watch The Last Dragon. The following Tuesday, Julius Carrey, who plays Sho' Nuff/Shogun of Harlem died from pancreatic cancer at the age of 56.
So a black guy is officially nominated for President of the U.S. However corny you may think it is, I'm feeling a little more American pride today.
McCain's nominee is pretty hot. She also has a sketchy background that may include lying about opposing the "bridge to nowhere" funding, trying to get her sister's ex-husband fired by using her influence as governor, and possibly covering up her teenage daughter's pregnancy by claiming the child as hers. OK, the last one is still pretty sketchy, but it has been mentioned on DrudgeReport. We'll see where this goes.
I changed my wine tracking software to CellarTracker, which is better than Cork'd. Cork'd was supposed to be renovated, but nothing has happened in over a year. If you click on my list is is completely updated including purchases from my wine-tasting day in Paso Robles.
Speaking of trips, we took two short trips in the last 10 days. First, we went "camping" with my brother, his wife, and my niece. I put it in quotes because my brother has a 20-foot trailer. Amanda and I slept in the tent, but it didn't feel quite right since no meals were prepared outdoors. It was still nice to sit by a campfire and drink beers. Plus, my niece is super-cute and she was wildly entertaining. However, we were constantly being harassed by a band of six marauding geese. I also went fishing, which was everything I hoped it would be minus the catching of fish.
The second trip was a three-nighter in Cambria. Don't ever go there. I only say that because I don't want you to make it more crowded. It is one of my favorite trips ever. I got to do a day of tasting in Paso. Went to Hug, Lone Madrone, L'Aventure, Linne Calodo, and Denner. Paso is better than Napa. Yes, I said it. Cambria never got hotter than 73 or so and there was a regular dry fog. We did a lot of reading, ate a lot of great food, hiked, saw elephant seals, and even watched the Cambria PineDorado parade while eating breakfast. Amanda got to pet a horse and we saw a hawk fly off with a squirrel in its talons. Its a great place.
School starts Wednesday. Back to work. I'm actually excited. I like my job and I'm excited about teaching AP World History. Things will be crazy, but I'm thinking that this could be a good year.
Galaxy are still struggling. Winless since June. Liverpool are looking pretty good, but there are 35 more games to go. Michigan lost its opener again, but I'm caring less and less about the pointy-ball these days.
Did you watch the Olympics? I did. They sucked. Michael Phelps did pretty good, trampoline is retarded, only Nigeria brought a table-tennis team without a member of Chinese descent, gymnastics proved to be a farce again (nothing is a sport if it involves judges giving you scores), Jamaicans run fast, race-walking may be lamer than trampoline, Argentina killed Brazil in soccer and the U.S. women took the gold after a great final against Brazil. There was a lot of diving on TV, which the Chinese are really good at. I credit their flat asses. American chicks have too much junk in the trunk.
In taco truck news, L.A. Superior Court Judge Dennis Aichroth ruled against the county's anti-taco truck law. He went as far to say that it was "arbitrary and not based upon any rational, intrinsic or natural basis". The main part of his argument was that it was an illegal restraint on trade. I'm guessing that the county will appeal, so the fight goes on. I propose a taco truck night in the next week or so in honor of free competition. Salva las trocas.
Ten years ago I was starting my last year of college. Man, I'm old. In fact, I turned 31 last Saturday. Pete, however, is older by 363 days. My dad is even older than that.
Welcome September.
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Jeff
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9:21 PM
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innocent bystanders
...no excuses for not posting. Just a few notes.
After essentially no time off since December, I finally get to relax a bit. I closed out the year at my regular school, started summer school after the weekend, finished summer school, had one free Saturday, then did a week-long conference in Claremont. Two days in a conference next week, then back to work at the beginning of September. FYI, most teachers who care about their jobs do a crapload of work during the summer even though school is not in session.
I'm trying to get amped for the upcoming elections, but I don't think the campaigns are in full swing yet. Granted, McCain has come up with some doosies comparing Obama to Brittney Spears and Paris Hilton and by making a mountain from a molehill from Obama's suggestion that people keep watch on their tire pressure as a way to save gas (which works by the way), but there still seems to be little urgency - which I think is just fine. Once we get through the party conventions things will get rolling.
Soccer? The Galaxy are not doing so well right now. No wins since June 14th. Dropped from 1st to 4th. Heads are gonna roll soon. Players? Maybe. Management? For Sure. Liverpool, on the other hand, are looking good. We picked up another serious striker in Robbie Keane and are poised to pick up an absolutely outstanding left midfielder in Gareth Barry. We are looking good for our August 16th opener against Sunderland. Pub anyone?
I want to end this on a serious and sad note. First, my family lost a very dear friend, Dalton Vick, on Saturday. "Donk" was a serious good-ol' boy from Texas with only a few teeth left from his days of chewing. He loved people, life, and Coors Light. If you can imagine an 80+ year-old version of Boomhauer from King of the Hill, that was Dalt. A great guy that loved his family and, although I could only understand half of what he said, I know that it was all said to bring fun and entertainment. A great character in my life story.
Second, my "weekend family" from March to November, the L.A. Riot Squad, lost a dear friend. Jair Garcia was serving our country in Afghanistan on Friday when the vehicle he was in hit a roadside bomb and he was killed. Most of us knew him from his activities in the first picture - playing soccer and supporting the Galaxy. The rest of the world now knows him as one of the 4,000+ that has given their lives in our "war on terror". I won't get into my political views on this subject, but I will say that it hits home a little more when someone you knew is on that list. Jair leaves behind a 9 year-old son and wife.
Both of them will be missed.
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Jeff
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9:44 PM
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innocent bystanders
That's maybe my favorite lame catch phrase used in uber-conservative arguments. It might be second to "God made Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve". Either way, if you use these slogans you are a moron. In any case, here are some thoughts for your 4th of July.
In the story of the year, a school in New Jersey went into lockdown for 30 minutes because a student saw a ninja in the woods. There are two problems with this story. First, you would never see the ninja sneaking up on you. Second, a locked school door would never stop a ninja.
A great American hero, Jesse Helms, died this morning. Of course, he was only a great American hero to racists, homophobes, and the tobacco industry - but whose counting?
Spain deservedly won Euro 2004. I placed 66th out of what appears to be about 70,000 people who entered ESPN's Euro Pick 'em competition. I'm awesome.
Maybe they found the big chink in Obama's armor: FISA. I'm not terribly happy about this. On a positive note, I don't think McCain can say much about it.
How do you rescue 16 hostages from a guerrilla army that has been fighting the government for 40 years? You tell them that you are one of them, land a helicopter, and take the hostages to freedom. Sounds pretty lame, but it worked in Colombia. I would have loved to be a fly on the wall at the FARC meeting when these idiots had to explain the story to their leader.
The American Family Association is telling people to boycott McDonald's because they promote the gay agenda. No joke.
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Jeff
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9:31 AM
1 innocent bystanders
So I'm one glass into a bottle of 2006 Pascual Tosa Malbec (which is outrageously good for $10) and feeling the need to write something.
POLITICS. Four months ago I predicted that Obama would win the nomination. It finally came through. Now we just need to beat angry John McCain.
SPORTS. I know many people don't want to hear this, but I was happy to see a Celtic victory. Its been a while and although Boston fans can be assholes, they are passionate and unwavering. The Lakers cater to the wealthy and fill their first 10 rows with people looking to be seen. Its a business to them and I can't deal with that. Of course, my favorite soccer team went out and spent $250 million to fill some seats so what do I know.
BEER. What's up with July 4th? Who is hosting the BBQ? Let me know. FYI, my top beer for the summer is going to be Firestone Double Barrel. That and sapphire and tonics.
MUSIC. New Kids on the Block reunion tour? You heard right. October 8th and November 26th at Staples (now you don't need to look it up Randy)
WORK. I turned in grades today. Now, most of you have never experience the behind-the-scenes world of school. (All of those rumors you heard about certain teachers that smoked weed and did crazy shit are probably true) We all saw the world of education through the eyes of a student, but there is so much that we don't catch. In this case, you don't realize how stressful turning in grades can be. Here is the process for me:
1. I have to submit grades on the internet. This is very ironic since LAUSD still uses a DOS-based system for its student database. Somehow these two combine, with often disastrous results. I submit grades four times during a semester.
2. At the 10-week and 15-week submissions, I must put a warning that the student is in danger of failing. If I don't I can't fail them at the end of the semester.
3. Seniors are a special case. At the 18-week point I have to submit a list of seniors that are going to fail for sure. At least that's what the letter says. The school then sends a letter home telling the parent that their kid will not be graduating. Here's the catch. There are still two weeks left. According to the school, I can't fail a kid that doesn't get a letter sent home, but I'm also not supposed to pass a kid once they receive the letter. If I feel the need to change my mind and pass them, then I have to fill out a form for every kid that I change from failing to passing. That number was six this year. I originally submitted 24 as sure-to-fail. The administrator in charge complained that I did this. I complained that their system was retarded.
4. Once I submit these grade online I have to generate a 13-page report, print it, double-check that I did it right, and sign all 13 pages. This report is due tomorrow. I had a final today. The "window" to submit grades closed at 6:00 tonight. So I had about 7 hours from the end of the last final to finish grading everything and submit the grades.
5. The last step is to submit a gradebook that justifies all of my grades. LAUSD requires that I have two grades for every week of the semester. Besides an account of every assignment for every student, I have to also include a log of parent contacts, course syllabi, grading scales, and attendance records. I've worked out a system where this is super-easy for me, but I didn't know about this my first year and I got killed.
6. OK, so there is one more optional step. I have to listen to seniors cry about how my class is the only reason they didn't graduate. I think that will be avoided this year.
DRUNKS. Check out the Pete and Randy Podcast at Rat Race. Good times.
Finally, SOCCER. Galaxy are doing good. Join me at a game sometime, I promise beer and festive times. Euro 2008 is moving into the quarterfinals. This is basically like World Cup with only European teams. Its a huge deal. As of Sunday, I was #60 out of more than 60,000 in the ESPN Euro pick 'em contest. I've dropped to 278, which I still think is very respectable. Last year's winners, Greece, are out. England didn't even qualify. Both hosts (Austria and Switzerland) are out. Favorites Germany struggled in the group stage as did reigning World champs Italy. The new favorites? Netherlands. They destroyed France and Italy and their backups beat Romania. Record 9 goals in their three games. Total Football is back. The quarterfinal games are at 11:45am every day for the next four days (Thursday-Sunday). I predict that Germany will get a tough victory over Portugal (I have the least confidence in this pick), Croatia will beat Turkey, Netherlands will crush Russia Saturday morning, and Spain will win a shootout with Italy Sunday morning. These should be some great games and you should check them out.
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Jeff
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6:19 PM
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innocent bystanders
My brother sent me a link to a website called Immersive Media. They are the people that handle the Google "street view" option. If you don't know what I am talking about go here, enter your home address, and click on "street view. In any case, once you are watching the video you can click and drag on the screen to see the entire 360-degrees around you and up and down. Its pretty cool. Check it out.
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Jeff
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5:36 PM
1 innocent bystanders
It may be getting blown out of proportion a bit, but Hillary doesn't seem to have a problem attacking Obama over the words of another person, Jeremiah Wright, so she should understand why she will get torn up for words she actually spoke.
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Jeff
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9:03 AM
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innocent bystanders
On the night of the West Virginia primary, I got a text from an unnamed person that said "West Virginia is racist". I laughed it off as a joke, but this report by West Virginia Public Radio says that it was no joke at all.
Some wonderful quotes by West Virginia voters:
"Well, it’s his name that messes me up, that Muslim name. Them Muslims, they’re a terrorist, buddy, they almost want to be a terrorist."
"There’s no way under the heavens I’d vote for Obama, because of his beliefs. I’m a born again Christian, and he’s of the Muslim faith or whatever. From what I understand, he don’t believe in God, and we don’t need nobody to ruin our country who don’t believe in God."
"And I don’t like the Hussein thing. I’ve had enough of Hussein."
"You know I didn’t vote for no colored."
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Jeff
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2:44 PM
1 innocent bystanders
Let me go on the record about something. Republicans are trying to attack Obama for his suggestion that we should have unconditional talks with "enemies" like Iran. Bush even compared Obama's belief with the policy of appeasement used with Hitler at the start of WWII. I have to say that these people are so completely retarded that they should reconsider their careers as politicians. Do you know why we should talk to our enemies? BECAUSE PEOPLE DON'T FUCKING DIE WHEN YOU ARE TALKING!! Its called diplomacy. I know that Bush only uses it with his Saudi oil buddies, but I support the idea of talking to your enemies first, with or without conditions, in order to avoid killing a bunch of people with an unnecessary war. Talking does not show weakness - it shows reasoning, confidence, and strength. Its easy to just say "fuck it - shoot 'em" when you are sitting in an office and someone else has to take the risks.
John McCain has gone after Obama for this idea as well. However, this ad (yes, it was funded by MoveOn.org, but all of the facts are verifiably true) shows that McCain has no problem working with people who not only talk to the world's enemies, but also lobby for them.
Is this really the decision-making ability that we are looking for in a President? I don't necessarily approve of the type of advertising that I'm sure groups on both sides will be making during this summer/fall campaign, but this one was certainly eye-opening.
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Jeff
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9:29 AM
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innocent bystanders
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Jeff
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4:52 PM
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innocent bystanders
This weekend brings the end of the English Premier League season. Its not an end to all soccer as the Galaxy are in full swing, but I don't get to go to the pub and have a pint at 7am to watch MLS. In any case, European soccer leagues don't work like American sports. There are no playoffs. All 20 teams in England are in one league and whoever ends up in first place in the standings ("top of the table" we say) is the champion. This season, my beloved Liverpool once again left me slightly disappointed with a 4th place finish. However, there are incentives to finish in various spots in the table. Second place (along with the champion) automatically qualify for the group stage of the Champions League, maybe the biggest tournament for clubs in the world. 3rd and 4th enter the qualifying stages of the Champions League, which means that they have to beat up on the 2nd place team from Latvia or something to get into the group stages. 5th place gets you a spot in the UEFA Cup, which is like the "not quite good enough for the Champions League" tournament. After that, the only spots that matter are 18-20 since the lowest three teams in the table are sent down (relegated) to the lower division (called the Championship). The top 3 championship teams are moved up into the Premier League. Next year, Stoke City and West Bromwich Albion will move into the premiership along with the winner of a 4-team playoff.
So, if I haven't yet lost you, here's a run-down of the last games of the Premier League season and why they matter. Pay close attention because even the league championship is yet to be decided.
Sunderland v. Arsenal, Tottenham v. Liverpool, and Middlesboro v. Manchester City won't have an effect on anything except pride and maybe a manager's job.
Birmingham vs. Blackburn. Blackburn have nothing to play for, but Birmingham needs a win along with a loss by Fulham and a loss/tie by Reading to avoid relegation. I recommend rooting for Blackburn not only because American Brad Friedel minds their net, but for another reason that I'll explain later.
Chelsea v. Bolton. Bolton are safe unless they lose by 4+ to Chelsea. Chelsea are tied for the league lead, but need to get more points (1 for tie, 3 for win) than ManU to win the title since ManU have a greater goal differential (goals scored minus goals given up)
Derby v. Reading. Derby sucks and are going to be relegated no matter what. That sucks for the two Americans (Eddie Lewis and Benny Failhaber) on their roster. Reading (another American keeper here - Marcus Hanneman) need a win and a Fulham loss to stay in the Premiership.
Portsmouth v. Fulham. Portsmouth have nothing to play for. Fulham can stay in the league with a win or losses by both Reading and Birmingham. This is my #1 game for the weekend since 5 Americans play for Fulham (Brian McBride, Kasey Keller, Carlos Bocanegra, Clint Dempsey, and Eddie Johnson).
West Ham United v. Aston Villa. If Villa win and Everton loses Villa will move into the UEFA Cup spot (5th place). As a Liverpool fan I have to hate Everton since they are our closest rival, but they also have American Tim Howard in goal so I want them to stay up. (F.Y.I. - there are four Americans playing keeper in the Premier League - all starters)
Wigan v. ManUre (get it - manure, like cow shit? cuz I fucking hate ManU. But not as much as Chelsea). ManU wins and they are champs. If they don't win, they need Chelsea to do the same or worse than them. I'll explain at the end.
Everton v. Newcastle. I'm not sure how Newcastle managed to stay up since they blew goats all year, but they did and this game doesn't matter for them. However, Everton need to at least tie or have Villa not win to keep their spot in the UEFA Cup, which will be good for Tim Howard and the U.S.
Got all that? OK. Here's what I hope happens in the race for the title. I hope ManU lose - big. Then, I want Chelsea to take a one-goal lead into the last part of the game, only to give up two and lose the title in the last 5-10 minutes. That way, those See You Next Tuesdays (think about it) at Chelsea don't get the title and ManU can't celebrate. I hate both of them.
ALL GAMES START AT 7AM!
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Jeff
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7:08 PM
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innocent bystanders
1. The Galaxy season is underway. Things aren't looking good at the start, but there's signs of improvement.
2. Its 2008. We have cell phones that go on the internet and take pictures, cars that adjust the stereo and seats automatically for each user, and iPods smaller than a box of matches. How is this all possible, yet we have food riots?
3. An interesting article in today's L.A. Times: Cardinal Mahony of the L.A. Catholic Diocese is asking individual parishes to help cover $50 million of the total $720 million in settlements made with victims of sexual abuse by clergy. That sounds pretty ballsy to me.
4. FoxNews and MSNBC reported that Obama may have flipped off Hillary during a speech.
Two things: really?!?! and last I checked flipping a person off involved one finger - Obama used two to scratch his face. Must be a slow news day.
5. Pennsylvania primary is on Tuesday. I think Obama's got the nomination locked up, so I don't care that much about the result. However, it would be nice if he won so we could move on to the business of beating crazy McCain.
6. In case you weren't aware, the end of the Earth is near. You can read the article, but it talks about an atom smasher in Switzerland is closing in on its operating date. The hoped result? The first sighting of the Higgs particle (smaller than a quark, which is smaller than an atom). Another possible result? A black hole that will swallow the Earth.
7. I'm not sure anybody noticed, but the NBA playoffs start this weekend. The NBA playoffs are possibly the most drawn-out pointless event in the world. They make the Democratic nomination process look like an episode of Metalocalypse. At least in the nominating process the result matters. For example, the Lakers will play the Nuggets (we had a friend that called his balls his nuggets) tomorrow and the series goes until MAY 4th!! Two weeks for the first round? This sport is ridiculous. The NCAA tournament has 64 teams and they are done in less than a month.
8. Earth Day is coming. Recycle motherfuckers!
9. My Earth Day challenge to anyone who reads this: stop buying bottled water. Get a re-usable bottle and a Pur or Brita filter. Amanda and I have been doing this for a long time. REI has a wide selection of bottles. Water is a public resource and people are paying more for water than gas. Really. One gallon of gas goes for about $4. One 16-ounce bottle of water goes for about $1. It takes 8 of those bottles to make a gallon. $8/gallon for water?
10. My $10 wine recommendation of the month: 2006 Pascual Toso Malbec. This shit drinks like wines 3-4 times its price and its still young. We've put away two bottles and have three more waiting. Readily available at your local BevMo.
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Jeff
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1:02 PM
3
innocent bystanders
Changing the wine world.