Valentine's Day can eat my ass

Look, I have had a Valentine every year since '97, so this diatribe does not come from recent bitterness. However, I never had a Valentine before that, so maybe this is left over from my adolescence.

Reasons why Valentine's Day is stupid:

1. It is not a real holiday. The greeting card and chocolate industries have convinced us that we have to buy a card, some candy, balloons, stuffed animals, etc. I try to do nice things for my significant other on a regular basis, thus eliminating the need to do it on a random Tuesday. And before you get crazy on me, I did get Amanda a card (although I can't find it).

2. It puts other people's relationship in your face. What if you are single and lonely today? All you get to do is watch other people give each other shitty gifts. There is no solace for the single person on Valentine's Day. At least on Christmas people that are lonely can watch a Christmas movie or listen to music, etc. and can get the Christmas spirit. How do you get that romantic feeling alone on Valentine's Day? Make yourself a nice dinner and then "take care of yourself"? Right now there is a giant bear attached to a giant balloon that plays romantic "Baby I need your lovin" when you hit it. Why? So that girl can show how much that horny 10th grade boy likes her. All of the goofy and nerdy kids (like me) only get to feel worse.

3. Too much money is spent on useless crap. See the comment above about the giant bear. Where will that balloon end up? In some landfill forever. Where will the bear end up? On fire in her backyard after they break up although he told her that he loved her and she gave it up to him. Does any male over the age of 5 want a stuffed animal? Hell no, unless it is a real animal that you shot. Plus, if a girl gets you a stupid stuffed animal you are forced to keep it until you break up. Yeah, that pink bear with the big-ass heart on it really fits well next to the posters of Playboy playmates, 50 cent and Kobe Bryant.

Well, that's my feeling about the "holiday." Don't let me ruin the fun for you though. Just know that every stupid Valentine's Day gift you give ends up killing the environment. Do you really want that on your conscious?