Belated Douchebag of the Week 12/12/05

For some reason it never struck me to enter the DotW on Saturday or Sunday so now that I am at home and have called in sick tomorrow due to the cold that my fiance gave me, I will astound you now with many levels of douchebageness. Hopefully, nobody is offended.

First, some short honorable mentions:
FIFA: for screwing the U.S. in the World Cup draw
Dumbasses that are paying $1000 for Rose Bowl tickets. Why? They're just a bunch of amateurs!
The Dumbassthat paid over $20,000 for Napoleon's tooth. Mostly because I am jealous.

Second, the nominees that did not win:

FIFA The governing body of world soccer somehow decided that this ugly sack of shit would be the mascot of World Cup 2006:

This is Goleo IV and his sidekick talking soccer ball Pille. Maybe they were thinking "There are not enough people in the world that think soccer is gay" when they designed this ugly retarded lion. I have no other explanation for it.


Barry Bonds: Barry has reported that he will lose 40 pounds this offseason. So, yeah, uh, do I really need to say more? Does anyone really wonder how he will do that? My vote is 30 pounds of roid muscle and 10 pounds of ego.

Bible for porn guys: These atheist guys set up a table on the campus of Univ. of Texas - San Antonio to offer porn to anybody who would trade their Bible for it. On the surface this seems funny, but in reality you must be some kind of asshole to pull this off. Look, I've got no problem with atheists, but if you put your atheism in peoples' faces like this, aren't you as annoying as the guy that stands in the student center at every college ever and screams about people needing to repent? I vote YES. And at what point do you think Texas is the place to convince people to be atheist. Isn't that like trying to celebrate Kwanzaa at a Klan rally? Besides, these heathens are going to hell anyways.

And the winner!!!:
Focus on the Family: Unofficially nominated by Bob who writes on "In the Belly of the Whale" because he wrote about it and I agree. Basically, Focus on the family is no longer using Wells Fargo because "their corporate headquarters is in San Francisco, and they are heavily committed to the gay and lesbian agenda." (according to Grand Dragon, I mean chairman, James Dobson. So what is next for Focus on the Family? They will no longer drink Evian because the name sounds gay, they will stop eating at their local Burger King because their commercials showed the King sitting in the same bed as another man, and they will stop watching Extreme Makeover: Home edition because Dobson says "that Ty Pennington must be a pillow-biter." OK, I made the last part up, but don't be surprised!

That is all for this week. Please e-mail me nomination when you think of them. As you can see, even if I don't officially nominate someone they can still win.

And, yes, I realize the irony in my derogatory use of the word gay in reference to the lion while later ragging on James Dobson about his homophobic policies.