And the winner is...

Over on the Life Outside the Rat Race blog, six of the members made submissions for their 1st Annual(?) Life Outside the Rat Race International Essay Competition. And, yes, it is officially international since there is a post from England. My fiance, being a former English teacher was picked as a judge. I, being a nosy bastard that sticks my nose into everything, was also selected. OK, I'm a teacher so I am qualified. In any case, these are the winners of various awards, including overall best submission, which comes with a prize. This prize can be picked up tonight (or maybe Wednesday night) at the Crown. So here we go:

How did we judge the essays? Well, we both put a lot of time, sweat, and blood into reading the submissions. Amanda came up with the idea for different categories and the criteria for picking the overall winner. I wrote this post, so basically all I contributed was witty banter.

The award for Best Reflective Essay goes to Lauri for her submission "My Friends and I." Amanda wanted to call it the award for being really sweet, but that doesn't sound literary enough. I would have cried when I read it, but I hate all of my friends. Not really, I sobbed like a baby.

The award for Best Use of Descriptive Details goes to Owen. Its not surprising that the one submission from the British Isles involved violence and alcohol. I really enjoy reading what Owen writes because he always says more than "my day at work sucked."

Next, the awards for Best Investigative Reporting and Best Title goes to Pete for his submission "The Mysterious Sunshade Defenestration." Although Pete was not present (or was he?) he presents all sides of this daring story of intrigue and mystery over who threw Alex's windshield shade out of the window on the freeway. It was entertaining, but not much of a mystery since it was clearly Greg. Or was it??

The award for Best Use of Embarrassing Secrets goes to Lynlee's submission about her friend's phobia of paper due to the extreme danger of papercuts. Other possible award: Best Use of Humiliation of Your Friends. I could barely read this one because it gave me the heebie-jeebies.

Almost there. The Carrie Bradshaw Award for A Post that could be an episode of Sex and the City goes to Sheila's submission: "Adventures in Online Dating: a Love Story." I personally enjoyed this submissions due to her use of the phrase "I'll hump anything that breathes" which I will use way out of context one day to make fun of her. (Ed.'s note: Amanda was responsible for knowing the name of the main character from Sex and the City because I never watch that show, at least not with the sound on if you know what I mean.)

The final award, which I am giving without consulting the other judge, is the Award for Re-enacting Leaving Las Vegas. Randy's submission "A Thursday Unlike Yours" is a tale of debauchery and liver destruction that will never be equaled unless there is someone else dumb enough to drink 20 beers in one day.

And the winner for best overall is...






(drum roll)






Randy. We thought that his submission was the most original and entertaining. Although it would have been funnier if he wrote it as he was drinking, we would probably not have been able to understand what he was writing. In fact, I believe he said that he could barely read what he wrote in his notes. Plus, in the end the overall winner should be the person that sacrificed the health of his liver for the contest. So, congratulations Randy, there is a prize waiting for you. Maybe we'll buy you a beer, as if you need more alcohol in your system.